The Inspired Shopper

This piece was first written in 2009, for an earlier blog of mine. I thought it would be good to give it another airing on the Inspired Shopper blog because it reflects on a shopping dilemma that I deal with to this very day!
I have just bought a new, LCD, digital, HD (not 'complete' HD – there aren't enough pixels) flat-screen TV and had it installed using the combined efforts of the nice aerial man and a long-suffering friend of mine who is electronically advantaged. And I feel slightly traumatised.

I knew this feeling was coming and I was prepared. Every time I acquire an item that significantly alters my domestic environment, such as a new, expensive-ish piece of furniture or anything in the way of brown-, white- or blackgoods, I go through a 'trial period' where I am convinced I have made a huge mistake and should just go back to frittering away my money on clothes.

I know where and how this started. For many years I just didn't know how to shop. I rarely had enough money to buy new household items so acquired my parents' or friends' cast-off fridges, crappy vacuum cleaners and so on. When I was forced to buy something new I just went for the bottom-of-the-range model, and I rarely shopped around for the best price.

Then I started to earn a bit of money. Somehow I found myself with a luxurious wool underlay and top-of-the-range, down-filled doona that conspired to overheat and dry out my entire body so I'd wake at 3 in the morning feeling like a piece of dehydrated meat and screaming for water (that was 2002 and I still haven't got around to selling that underlay on eBay).

My next try was a heater and for this adventure I turned into Goldilocks, returning the first heater because it was too cold and the second because it was too powerful, then skulking to another shop to buy a heater that was 'just right'.

An education in shopping

• Listen to yourself when you want to dive straight into a home  renovation project. Perhaps there are things you need to consider that you’re not aware of yet. Think about what they are, and where you might get the right information.
  
  
• Before you begin, wait until you’ve considered all the factors involved; wait until you have all the information you need. Think about the plan for your project as a puzzle for which you need all the pieces before completing. Ask yourself if you have all the pieces before you begin to carry out your plan.
  
  
• Consult with someone who can see the whole picture. Individual tradespeople quoting on their own jobs won’t necessarily consider every factor; they may be concerned only with their piece of the puzzle. Even if they are aware of other considerations, some (not all) may fail to inform you of the ultimate requirements and costs because they want to provide a cheap quote.
  
  
• Develop ‘negative capability’. The poet John Keats coined this term to describe the state of uncertainty and unknowing in which creativity manifests itself. When it comes to making big changes to our homes, being open to uncertainty can help us determine the type and extent of research we have to do and all the factors we need to take into account.
  
  
• By all means be organised and use your rational mind. But also let your inner self guide you, when it comes to both the changes you decide to make and the people you contract to help you carry them out.
  
  
• Above all, keep your mind (and your ears) open!

The impulse buy – the expensive item you come home with when you actually intended to pick up a packet of pasta, a jar of anchovies and some tinned tomatoes – is an institution in our shopping culture. ‘I just bought it on impulse’, we say, or ‘I was just passing and I saw it and I had to have it’.

Impulse purchases are unplanned purchases. They often occur at cash registers where goods are displayed so as to tempt shoppers as they leave the store. You’re most vulnerable to an unwise impulse buy when you’re tired, hungry, or feeling low.

The irony of the impulse buy is the contrast between the buyer’s lack of conscious planning and the lengths that stores go to in preparing their ambush. About 60 per cent of what we buy is unplanned, and store displays are carefully designed and positioned to tempt us to reach for our wallets or add an extra item to our trolleys on the spur of the moment.

The internet is rife with its own triggers for impulse buying. Anonymity, easy use of credit cards, navigational software and a seemingly infinite number of choices make the internet an ideal environment for encouraging us to buy on impulse.

Impulse buys aren't all the same

The difference between an impulse buy and something you buy intuitively – something that you really do need and want – isn’t always obvious. In fact, they can sometimes be the same thing – it depends on the reasons behind the purchase.

Often when we buy things suddenly, we’ve actually been planning the purchase for a long time. One evening my brother-in-law Robert came home with a shivery little ginger-coloured spaniel. He’d supposedly bought the pup ‘on impulse’, but his two young daughters had been nagging him to get them a puppy for over a year. Perhaps Robert hadn’t planned to buy the puppy – but his unconscious mind had.

On the other hand, if you’re feeling low and find yourself poised to purchase some overpriced video game based on a blockbuster that you enjoyed at the cinema, although you have no idea whether the game itself is any good, this is less likely to be the result of intuition.

So how do you distinguish between a good impulse buy and an unwise one? Here are some tips to keep you on track.

1. Have a budget in place. A budget with allocated spending for different categories gives you a structure that helps you to identify whether you can afford the item that’s clamouring for your attention.

2. Start a Priority List. A Priority List, which I describe in detail in my book The Inspired Shopper, makes a great supplement to a budget. It’s basically a list of all the things you want and need. Prepare this list slowly and mindfully, noting how you feel as you write an item down. Do you really need the item or not? Could you repurpose something instead?

If an item you get the urge to buy on impulse is on your Priority List, it may be something you want and need. But you still need to ‘check in’ at the time to ensure that it feels right to buy it.

3. Get in touch how are you’re feeling. There are many emotions that can tip us over into wanting to buy. Sometimes the item may be directly related to how you’re feeling (a chocolate bar when you’re hungry) or sometimes it’s just that you’re desperate to buy something – anything – and the item conveniently presents itself in front of you! Common feelings that can set off the urge to buy are sadness, disappointment, anger, fatigue, hunger – but even positive emotions like joy, triumph and relief can lead us to buy.

4. Tap into your intuition. There is another layer of experience deeper than emotions – your intuition. It’s always there, regardless of how you’re feeling. Once you’ve worked out how your intuition responds in shopping situations, you can always rely on it. Start to experiment with it in simple scenarios, like choosing the best bunch of celery, and go from there.

5. Let go of the item. Letting go of an item before you decide whether to buy it – a process I call relinquishing – is very similar to a cooling-off period. But it doesn’t rely on moving physically away from the item, or waiting a long time before making a decision. What’s important with relinquishing is that you actually let go of the item mentally. You decide that you won’t buy it, place it back of the shelf or rack, and then you stop to listen to how your intuition responds. Does it feel genuinely wrong to leave the item behind? Or is there a sense of relief?

The impulse buy and your Priority List

An impulse buy that your unconscious has been planning for a while may sometimes be a good thing. Deliberately hunting out a new wool wrap, kitchen trolley or pair of summer sandals can lead to a long, fruitless and debilitating search; when you most feel you need something, you often can’t find it.

The Priority List lets your unconscious do the searching for you. When you have an idea of all the things you need, you can be proactive without really trying because your unconscious mind will be on the lookout for those items. When the right item appears, you’ve checked out the specifications, the price is right and you’re ready to buy, snap it up.

However, in the case of any significant purchase, you’ll need to carry out research before you buy. You can delay what would otherwise have been an impulse purchase by researching the item once you’ve found it.

Should you buy something on impulse if it’s not already on your Priority List? Ultimately you make the rules – how much structure you need depends on how prone you are to overspending, and how confident you are that you can stick to your budget.

The more you practise, the better you’ll be at distinguishing between intuitive and purely emotional shopping desires. It’s better to err on the side of caution if you’re unsure –you can always put something on your Priority List once you find it, and go back and buy it when you’ve had time to decide whether it will genuinely enhance your life.

Until next time!



If you enjoyed this post, you might like How to Stay Calm When Shopping Online!

Think of the clothes and accessories in your wardrobe. Chances are there’s at least one item that you probably shouldn’t have bought and will never wear again.

But chances are there is also a hidden treasure lurking at the back of a drawer or cupboard, or, in my case, at the bottom of a pile of clothes resting on a chair – something that you’ve forgotten exists or simply haven’t worn for a while that you could be mixing and matching with your other clothes for a whole new look.

The hidden dud

Most of us have bought duds at some time or another – something we buy to wear to a special event, or for everyday use, and realise belatedly is all wrong for us. No matter how much you try, a dud will never work in your wardrobe. It’s simply wrong, and it’s better to admit you have made a mistake and get rid of it – either by selling it, carting it off the op shop (thrift shop) or storing it in readiness for the next local government hard rubbish collection.

You could also swap it with a friend or take it to a clothes-swapping event such as those held by The Clothing Exchange.

Why do we hang onto duds for so long? Psychology researchers describe the reason as ‘the sunk cost fallacy’. When a project clearly fails, we humans are naturally concerned about the money and time we’ve already invested in it. Unfortunately, sometimes we’re so concerned about these costs that we use them to justify continuing on with the project, even though to do so just compounds the problem.

An item of clothing that we bought for the wrong reasons is a kind of project – getting rid of it would mean we’d have to admit to ourselves that buying it in the first place was a waste of money.

While the sunk cost fallacy may explain something as trivial as the alligator skin belt that’s tucked away in a bottom drawer in your spare room, its effects are often not so trivial – they explain, for example, why a nation might continue to pursue a war of occupation even though it has clearly failed.

Admitting you made a mistake, bringing your hidden dud to light and getting rid of it can be a huge relief – you’ll probably feel as if a weight has been lifted. Remember, something that’s a dud to you may well be a treasure to someone else, so passing it on to a good home can be an act of altruism!

The buried treasure

Fashion has changed out of all recognition in recent years. It’s no longer dictated from above, with one set of styles holding sway for one season and then disappearing for years at a time. Instead, different looks and styles are worn together, savvy street fashion is relayed across the globe on style blogs such as Facehunter, retro clothes combine with new ones, and it’s all mashed together in a gloriously anarchic way.

It’s very likely that there’s at least one item in your wardrobe that you think is out of date but may not be. An item that may have swung back into fashion, or one that could be given new life by a more recent item that you already have.

Whether it’s a belt, scarf, skirt, top, pair of pants, jacket, shoes or something else, this item may be waiting for you to rediscover and make use of it.

So, why not go to your wardrobe and see if you can find at least one example of a hidden dud and one example of buried treasure? You might be surprised at what’s lurking in there!

One of the traps it’s easy to fall into as a shopper is to buy something because you think you should. This basically means that your rational mind alone believes you need the item.

It’s fine to have a rational basis for wanting to buy something, but your intuition also needs to be involved in the decision-making process.

It’s amazing how many things some of us buy that we think we truly need, then don’t end up using.

The functions of some of these items can be carried out simply by repurposing. The crafty–frugal movement has lots of great information about this.

The Shopping Shoulds crop up in all kinds of situations, some of which are detailed in my forthcoming book, The Inspired Shopper. One scenario that can give rise to the Shopping Should is when you receive a gift voucher or money as a present.

Recognising the Shopping Shoulds

When you receive a gift voucher or cash as a birthday or Christmas present, three things can happen. Entirely new needs can present themselves (pun intended); you may already have a specific item that you’ve had your eye on for ages; or you may have a general idea of an item but not have the specifics worked out.

In any of these scenarios, you may experience the urge to spend the money quickly – both to let the giver know that you bought something worthwhile, and, if you received money, to ensure you don’t simply fritter it away on petrol and groceries.

If you have a specific item that you’d already chosen before receiving the gift, that’s great. You already knew that you wanted and needed the item, and now, with the help of your gift voucher or money, you can ‘claim’ it. As you’re buying it, you still need to check in with your intuition to ensure it’s right.

But if you only have a general idea of the kind of item you want, it’s especially important to proceed with caution. Remember, there’s no hurry. Don’t fall into the trap of buying something before you’re really ready.

Tips for avoiding the Shoppng Shoulds

• Try to let go of your desire to have the item right away.

• Don't conduct bricks-and-mortar searches just for the one item. For example, avoid going to a mall to look for that item alone. Wait until your unconscious mind prompts you, and visit a shopping centre when you’re on the lookout for more than one thing.

• If you’re browsing on the internet, keep telling yourself that you’re just looking – despite the convenience of buying something right away, there’s no need to rush things.

• As you look around, refine the sense of what you’re looking for – the colour, texture and so on. Think about your lifestyle, and what functions the item needs to have in order to enhance it.

• While you’re going through this process, think about whether or not you really need the item. Could an existing item be repurposed?

• Only buy the item when you receive a gentle nudge from your intuitive self. In the case of money you receive as a gift, remember, it’s now yours – if you want to spend it on something practical, that’s fine.

Bear in mind that wherever safety or risk is an issue, this advice doesn’t apply. Always err on the side of caution, for example if you’re planning to take a trip up the Amazon River(!) or buying a product for a baby or child that needs to meet particular safety standards (especially if you’re buying secondhand).

More on how to avoid the Shopping Shoulds can be found in my forthcoming book The Inspired Shopper, which is out soon as a Kindle ebook!