Showing posts with label Deprivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Deprivation. Show all posts
1/30/14
Labels:
Bargains
,
Bricks-and-mortar stores
,
Deprivation
,
Emotions
,
Letting go
,
Melbourne
,
Older people
,
Popular culture
,
Psychology of shopping
,
Sales
Until next time!
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Store Loss and Disenfranchised Grief
I stood with my head pressed against the glass. Behind it, a
thoroughly empty shop, long and narrow. The bald fact of it: walls, carpet,
back door. Everything else – the shelves, the posters, the old counter at the
back with its pale pink curtain into the inner sanctum that held the DVDs – all
gone. The closing down signs still mocking the windows, a picture of
understatement.
How absurd, to get upset about a video store closing! How
old was I? Well, it was early January, which is always a disorientating time
for me. And this was a local video store, not a franchise, owned by a sweet
family headed by a short, white-haired middle-aged woman who always treated me
with kindness and courtesy. This family were already installed in the store
when I started to use it after returning, ten years ago, to live in the nearby
suburb where I grew up.
It was a damn good video store, with plenty of stock to
choose from. It charged only $3 for new releases, obviously an attempt to
compete with the DVD vending machines that had become a fixture at supermarkets
in recent years.
It had no pretensions to being an arty place aimed at
cinephiles – I used to think how much more it could do to capitalise on the
hordes of students in the area – but the owner had realised, she told me once,
that keeping a back catalogue of videos rather than selling most of them off was
good for the business, tiding it over whenever the crop of new releases was particularly
disappointing.
My angst came from several sources. I hadn’t had the chance
to say goodbye and thanks for being real, and independent, and genuinely
friendly. Mixed in with this was the frustration of human curiosity – I’d
missed the inside story. I’ll never know whether the owner had simply had
enough and was retiring with a nice little nest egg, or, much more likely, was
a victim of the switch to vending machines along with the rise of Quickflix and
internet streaming – and perhaps rising store rents.
But it wasn’t just the owner I’d lost the chance to say
goodbye to. It was the shop itself, its familiar layout, the time I used to
spend painstakingly choosing my five weeklys for only $6.50. I’ve used those
DVD vending machines, but it’s just not the same. Going out to choose a video is
still a treat for me, and having a machine dispensing it takes all the fun away.
The small losses of daily life
As we get older, familiar places seem to become more important. There is so much change, and yet another small adjustment can sometimes seem like a blow.
As we get older, familiar places seem to become more important. There is so much change, and yet another small adjustment can sometimes seem like a blow.
Gerontologist Professor Kenneth Doka has an expression for
the sense of loss that we have trouble letting go of because our grief is not
socially sanctioned – he calls it disenfranchised grieving.
Such losses are often large but they can also be small ones.
Life is full of them – every new stage we enter results in the shedding of old
routines, places and companions – but modern life changes so fast that we may
be in a state of constant adjustment, never having the chance to find our feet
until the next earth tremor of change.
 |
| Pic: Grove Arcade bookstore, by Joel Kramer |
Shops are commercial ventures, but the ones we visit regularly become part of our psychic maps, our mental touchstones. I hadn’t expected to feel bereft when the Borders store at my local shopping mall closed. This occurred when the entire Australian arm of the business went into receivership in 2011. All over Melbourne Borders stores were holding closing down sales and I joined the swarms of bargain hunters combing the fast-emptying shelves for books going for a couple of dollars.
I wasn’t prepared for the sense of loss once the Chadstone Borders at closed. I knew that it was a heartless multinational, had read somewhere that workers in its US stores were so poorly paid they had to get second jobs to survive. Nevertheless there was something profoundly civilising about all those books in my local shopping mall. I’ve always fetishised books and it was the sheer number at the Borders store with its two floors that captivated me.
Still, losses have their consolations. About a year ago a new independent bookstore moved into Chadstone, with genre labels that look a bit home made, and a refusal to grant the kinds of massive discounts that stores like Borders and Dymocks have relied on. It’s a new branch of the independent chain Robinsons Books, and seems so far to be well patronised – long may it reign!
Have you ever experienced a sense of unexpected loss when a familiar store closed down?
Until next time!
7/23/13
Labels:
Decision making
,
Deprivation
,
Emotions
,
frugality
,
overspending
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Why Do I Overspend When I Have No Money?
I’m going through a quiet patch at work at the moment. It’s always like this in July, presumably because of the end of financial year. But it makes me a bit panicky – part of me thinks the slow pace will never pick up.
Yet I’m noticing a tendency to spend as if the quiet patch wasn’t happening. On a logical level this doesn’t make sense. If there is less money coming in, it should be easy to spend less, right?
Wrong. Humans are emotional creatures, and it’s for emotional reasons that we overspend. I was curious as to where my own urge to keep spending came from, and came up with a few theories. Along the way, I thought of some other motivations that can lead to overspending just at the very moment when you should be pinching your pennies. I’ve listed them below.
Once you know what’s really going on, you don’t have to beat yourself up about spending. Instead you can deal with the source of the problem, not just the symptom. For this reason I’ve provided some suggested solutions to the different reasons for spending when money is tight.
Scarcity – If you’re telling yourself you don’t have any money, that alerts your brain to a fear that you won’t have enough. Your unconscious may decide that it’s better to spend what you’ve got, and to ‘stock up’ on consumer goods because there’s no more money coming in.
Solution: Sooth yourself. Tell yourself that you’re in charge, and that you’ll do your best to spend wisely the money you have access to, even if it’s limited.
Giving up – if you’re already in debt then it’s easy to think ‘one more little thing won’t make any difference’. Your financial situation feels so hopeless that you may as well spend that little bit extra.
Solution: Start a budget, so that you know where your money is going. Keep checking it, and try to stick to it; if you go off track, simply adjust the budget and get back on the wagon again.
Treating yourself – If there’s not much work coming in and you’re worried about the situation, it’s tempting to spend in order to feel better and give yourself a mood boost.
Solution: Treat yourself with things that don’t cost anything, like a nice warm bath, a walk in the park, a nap on the couch, or just sleeping in on the weekend.
Boredom – If there’s not much work coming in, or you’re simply at home a lot, life gets boring. You may find yourself browsing your favourite shopping sites, or going to the mall, seeking visual stimulation; the human need for novelty is a classic reason why people shop.
Solution: Plan your time so that it’s quite structured. Include activities that are mentally stimulating and challenging. Seek visual stimulation in ways other than shopping, like going to a gallery or listening to some music.
Guilt – if you’ve been an overspender for a while, it’s easy to slip into a vicious circle. You feel guilty for overspending, and the guilt makes you feel bad about yourself – so you go out and spend in order to feel better.
Solution: Practise self-love, even if you don’t believe you’re worth it (you are!). Seek the support of a self-help group for overspenders or a therapist who specialises in spending issues.
Power – Not having much money can make you feel powerless. In contrast, finding a bargain, or choosing a tasteful bag, can make you feel very powerful. Ironically, this kind of spending is also disempowering because it’s preventing you taking control of your finances.
Solution: Look at ways you feel disempowered in your own life, and fix them. Work on your budget, and look at any issues you are having with self-discipline, motivation and changing habits. Learn assertion skills to use at work and in your personal life. Join a community group that works on a social issue you’d like to change.
Drop us a line!
I hope this helps. I’d love to hear of any experiences you have of overspending when you’re broke, and how you keep your spending in line. Meanwhile here’s a couple of resources if you have serious spending problems.
I hope this helps. I’d love to hear of any experiences you have of overspending when you’re broke, and how you keep your spending in line. Meanwhile here’s a couple of resources if you have serious spending problems.
Help for overspending
Online discussion group: Shopping Addicts Support
Debtors Anonymous
Until next time!
If you enjoyed this blog entry, you might also like Things You Get for Free: Making the Most of Free Events in Your Area and Three Frugal Tips So Obvious You Probably Haven't Thought of Them.
11/3/11
Labels:
Bricks-and-mortar stores
,
Deprivation
,
Emotions
,
Leisure shopping
,
Psychology of shopping
If you’re serious about reducing the number of things you buy, a good way to start is to look at your underlying motivations. They’re probably more complex than you realise! Below are some of the main reasons why we shop. Being aware of these motivations can reduce their hold on you, and put you on the road to more conscious shopping. Which of them apply to you?
Status
Independence and power
But this led to a paradox. For Minahan and Beverland’s shoppers, feeling powerful sometimes hinged on being able to afford a specific item; these shoppers felt compelled to buy another, equally expensive item if what they really wanted wasn’t available.
There’s nothing wrong with a desire to demonstrate financial independence. But wanting to feel powerful can lead to powerlessness if you feel compelled to buy. Men may feel a similar kind of pressure: the need to demonstrate their financial success and masculinity by producing their wallets and spending up big at call.
Branding is reaching ever deeper into our psyches: increasingly, it’s also about our identities, activities, interactions, and even our self-esteem. A 2010 study found that not only did certain brands have appealing ‘personalities’, but that the positive traits associated with those brands could rub off on consumers. In other words, some of us actually feel that we adopt more appealing personalities when we use a particular brand!
The internet has only increased the trend of self-expression through buying. It’s dead easy to download an exclusive recording of your favourite progressive rock band’s latest offering, buy anything you need in the way of freshwater-fishing tackle, or order your preferred style from a huge variety of designer nappy/diaper bags.
Wide aisles make it easier to look at and examine the goods. Evocative scents trigger positive memories that we then associate with the store’s brand. Some stores boast dramatic, architect-designed interiors that create a powerful statement about the brand.
Mirror neurons are a specific type of brain cell that enables feelings of empathy when we watch someone else perform an action. Mirror neurons are the reason why, despite vowing and declaring you would never buy a pair of harem pants when they started appearing in fashion magazines, one day you suddenly found yourself at the checkout of an upmarket department store, grasping a black satin pair of – harem pants.
The internet provides bargains all year round. This represents a potential danger if you want to save money: the capacity to snag a bargain becomes almost infinite, no longer limited by time of year or your ability to visit particular stores.
In fact, underlying the retail high some of us seek is often a general sense of deprivation. We all experienced loss as children; memories of these early experiences can resurface whenever we crave material objects. The losses of the present produce additional wounds while they reawaken old ones. And according to writer Oliver James, the world we live in encourages us to believe that objects can supply non-material things that we may not have, such as ‘love, or a better character or higher self-esteem’.
Feelings of deprivation are part of being human and they’ll come back after the shopping fix is over. Once you can acknowledge these needs they will have less power over you, and will be less likely to impinge on your purse and your time.
Collecting
According to neuroscientist Gregory Berns, dopamine is produced in the brain when we see something new or unexpected – that’s an important part of the shopping high many of us experience. But while dopamine fuels the desire to buy, actually finding and anticipating buying the item is what matters in the production of dopamine. There are plenty of no-cost and low-cost ways of satisfying the thirst for novelty in your shopping life.
Until next time!
Read More
Why Do We Buy? Twelve Hidden Motivations for Your Shopping Behaviour
If you’re serious about reducing the number of things you buy, a good way to start is to look at your underlying motivations. They’re probably more complex than you realise! Below are some of the main reasons why we shop. Being aware of these motivations can reduce their hold on you, and put you on the road to more conscious shopping. Which of them apply to you?
Status
Humans have always used material goods to advertise high social status. Many of us are more than willing to buy things that have a higher price tag simply to tell the world how wealthy we are. In some cases, the extra quality is in the packaging only. And marketers and advertisers are constantly encouraging us to believe we’re entitled to spend up big. We’re as good as the next person, so why can’t we have those sleek Italian ankle boots or the latest Audi?
These days, status isn’t just about luxury goods. Many of us (me included) inadvertently use material goods to tell people how with-it we are, how hip and original, or even how green.
Independence and power
In 2006, Stella Minahan and Michael Beverland conducted a landmark study on why and how Australian women shopped in retail stores. They discovered that many women enjoy the feeling of mastery that they get from being able to afford certain goods.
But this led to a paradox. For Minahan and Beverland’s shoppers, feeling powerful sometimes hinged on being able to afford a specific item; these shoppers felt compelled to buy another, equally expensive item if what they really wanted wasn’t available.
There’s nothing wrong with a desire to demonstrate financial independence. But wanting to feel powerful can lead to powerlessness if you feel compelled to buy. Men may feel a similar kind of pressure: the need to demonstrate their financial success and masculinity by producing their wallets and spending up big at call.
Brands have symbolic meaning and emotional appeal: we experience certain feelings, access happy memories, or affirm our values simply by buying a particular brand. And we advertise our spending power and good taste by wearing or using goods of a luxury brand.
Branding is reaching ever deeper into our psyches: increasingly, it’s also about our identities, activities, interactions, and even our self-esteem. A 2010 study found that not only did certain brands have appealing ‘personalities’, but that the positive traits associated with those brands could rub off on consumers. In other words, some of us actually feel that we adopt more appealing personalities when we use a particular brand!
Because we’re so inundated with choice these days, brand loyalty can seem like a convenient shortcut for decision making: ‘I trust this brand – I’ll try the company’s new anti-ageing moisturiser / wireless headphones / hiking boots’.
Urban geographer Jim Pooler suggests that these days ‘we shop to self-actualise’. Minahan and Beverland’s research found that one of the main reasons that women shop is to express themselves and their identity. Social theorists Jane Pavitt believes that we create our identities, our very selves, through the goods we buy: we often ask the question ‘Is that me?’ before forking out for a piece of clothing, choosing a restaurant or planning a holiday.
The internet has only increased the trend of self-expression through buying. It’s dead easy to download an exclusive recording of your favourite progressive rock band’s latest offering, buy anything you need in the way of freshwater-fishing tackle, or order your preferred style from a huge variety of designer nappy/diaper bags.
Retailers know that the longer we’re in a shop the more likely we are to buy. The lighting, music, smells, signage, display fixtures, colour scheme and layout all work synergistically to create an inviting ambience that encourages us to hang around and inspect the merchandise. Even the staff are chosen for their attractiveness.
Wide aisles make it easier to look at and examine the goods. Evocative scents trigger positive memories that we then associate with the store’s brand. Some stores boast dramatic, architect-designed interiors that create a powerful statement about the brand.
Some researchers claim that the shopping centre has taken the place of other social spaces such as churches and public squares. Many women love nothing more than hitting their favourite shopping zone with a group of close friends and a credit card in tow. And some shoppers relish casual chitchat with sales staff and the acknowledgement they receive from stores they shop at regularly.
Neuromarketers such as Martin Lindstrom have found that we are strongly motivated by the desire to buy the items we see other people using or wearing. This tendency is the reason why some items become fads, taking off in an irrational way until they’re popping up everywhere. According to Lindstrom, it’s all due to the fact that our brains contain what he terms mirror neurons.
Mirror neurons are a specific type of brain cell that enables feelings of empathy when we watch someone else perform an action. Mirror neurons are the reason why, despite vowing and declaring you would never buy a pair of harem pants when they started appearing in fashion magazines, one day you suddenly found yourself at the checkout of an upmarket department store, grasping a black satin pair of – harem pants.
Many of us shop to reward ourselves, to give ourselves a pat on the back for all our hard work. We even reward ourselves for doing mundane shopping like grocery shopping! Simply being aware that you do this can help you to distinguish between useful and wasteful rewards. One option is to set aside a set amount of reward money for a specific period of time. Alternatively, if you want to stop or cut down on buying expensive rewards, give yourself treats that aren’t necessarily related to shopping.
The satisfaction of snagging a red-hot bargain is a major motivation behind the urge to shop. In Australia, Boxing Day sales get more chaotic each year as people clamour for the hottest deals. In the USA, frenetic crowds storm stores on Black Friday, and websites are inundated on Cyber Monday and Green Monday.
The internet provides bargains all year round. This represents a potential danger if you want to save money: the capacity to snag a bargain becomes almost infinite, no longer limited by time of year or your ability to visit particular stores.
Finding a bargain can fuel the production of dopamine that gives us a shopping high. It can swell your self-esteem, give you a sense of power, and reassure you that you’re a skilled shopper.
Desire – the gap between what we already have and what we crave – is the basis of consumerism. We decide that we need a product or item and go out looking for it. This desire can turn to frustration and annoyance if we don’t get what we want.
In fact, underlying the retail high some of us seek is often a general sense of deprivation. We all experienced loss as children; memories of these early experiences can resurface whenever we crave material objects. The losses of the present produce additional wounds while they reawaken old ones. And according to writer Oliver James, the world we live in encourages us to believe that objects can supply non-material things that we may not have, such as ‘love, or a better character or higher self-esteem’.
Feelings of deprivation are part of being human and they’ll come back after the shopping fix is over. Once you can acknowledge these needs they will have less power over you, and will be less likely to impinge on your purse and your time.
Collecting
There is a bit of the collector in most of us, I suspect. Collecting is a tricky area, standing perilously close to both hoarding and shopping addiction, with all the disastrous consequences of these habits. If your collecting impacts badly on your life, financially, space-wise or otherwise, it could be in danger of turning into hoarding. If you think you may be a hoarder, seek professional help.
The human thirst for novelty is one of the main reasons we pound the pavement or sidewalk, or trawl the web, desperately in search of something fresh and different. We get sick of our doona (duvet) covers, lounge furniture, crockery, clothes, cars and mobile phones, even if they’re still in perfectly good condition. But some of the need for novelty can be satisfied without having to actually buy.
According to neuroscientist Gregory Berns, dopamine is produced in the brain when we see something new or unexpected – that’s an important part of the shopping high many of us experience. But while dopamine fuels the desire to buy, actually finding and anticipating buying the item is what matters in the production of dopamine. There are plenty of no-cost and low-cost ways of satisfying the thirst for novelty in your shopping life.
Until next time!
If you enjoyed this post, you might also like In with the Old and Out with the New: Shopping and the Search for Perfection.
8/31/11
Labels:
Compacting
,
Deprivation
,
Emotions
,
frugality
,
money
Downsizing, going frugal, cutting spending – everyone’s doing it these days. It’s part of a huge wave of consumer empowerment that the mainstream media seems incapable of grasping, instead simply complaining that ‘retail spending is down’.
Partly as a response to the GFC, the frugal movement ties in beautifully with another trend – people who, empowered by social media, are trying to reduce their carbon footprint and the amount of goods going to landfill while ceasing to purchase goods that exploit others.
Many of the frugal are reformed overspenders and shopping addicts who took control and are now paying back debt and learning to live richly on a much smaller (and saner) budget.
But I’m not one of those people. It took me ages to figure out that in fact I have the opposite problem. I’m not a reformed overspender. I’m a reformed underspender.
Before I became an underspender I was a spendthrift. For most of my twenties I simply spent everything I earned. But even then I wasn’t extravagant; I didn’t even have a credit card (come to think of it, I’ve never had a credit card, apart from a temporary one for an overseas trip; I now have a debit card). Nor was I particularly into shopping, or good at it. I just never saved anything because I didn’t realise I could.
When I started stingeing, I overdid it. It was a correction that went too far. I couldn’t tell the difference between necessary and unnecessary spending. For example, for about four years I went without a car; yet during that time I wouldn’t spend money on taxis to get home from a party, even though I was saving hundreds of dollars a year in car expenses.
I wrote my book, The Inspired Shopper, as an attempt to work out how to spend money wisely and how to buy the things I really needed.
The book has helped me to do those things, and most of things I buy these days are right for me. I imagine it would also be of use to reformed overspenders who want to spend in moderation.
But it doesn’t entirely take away the anxiety about spending. It just means that most of the time I don’t have to act on it (or fail to act because of it). Fear of spending money runs deep. It’s a basic distrust in the process of life. Giving money away to get something in return requires a degree of trust – that the object is not faulty, that it will work for a reasonable amount of time, that you’re not just throwing money away.
Usually I think I’ve worked through this. And then one bad buy and bang! I’m back to underspending hell again.
The lure of underspending
The extreme end of the frugal movement is compacting. Compacters commit to buying no new non-perishable goods, apart from necessities such as underwear and health and safety items, for a year. They can buy secondhand goods, barter, and receive gifts. Compacting seems to be less popular now, but the Fashion Challenge has taken over where compacting left off.
In some ways the Fashion Challenge is more extreme than compacting. For a year you commit to not buying any clothes at all, including underwear, socks, material for making things, or secondhand goods. You can swap clothes with others but you can’t receive clothes or undies as gifts. When I’m in underspending mode, the Fashion Challenge actually sounds quite tempting. No difficult decisions to make!
It’s not that I don’t enjoy shopping these days. I love it. I just don’t love spending. They’re not the same thing.
Underspending is actually quite painful. It can lead to compulsive buying because you end up holding out too long for something you really need. You may hurriedly buy something without checking that it has all the features that you require because you’re so desperate to purchase a necessity.
Neuroscientist Gregory Berns has found that when we have money in our bank accounts (or pockets) it means more to us because it offers unlimited possibilities. We don’t have to commit to spending it on one thing. Twenty thousand dollars could fund an indulgent trip to Paris that includes sampling a series of five-star Michelin restaurants, go towards a down payment on an apartment, or pay for one year of a law course.
When you spend that money, it’s gone. Committing to one or more things means that all the other possibilities fall away. If you’ve been saving for a while, it may become difficult to let a large slice of money go.
Frugality doesn’t mean a miserly approach to life. Most people who write about budgeting recommend building small treats into the process. And many frugal people make it their policy to buy quality goods when they do buy. Ethical purchases make even more sense in this context. Of course, for many people frugality isn’t a choice, it’s a necessity.
The habit of saving
Even if you don’t come from a history of underspending (and I understand that in our consumer society most of us don’t), is it possible to become addicted to frugality so that we become afraid to spend? Could too much compacting be bad for you? Or, once you’ve curbed the overspending, is it relatively simple to get the balance right without too much pain?
I would love to hear from readers about this. How do you know when to save and when to spend? How do you treat yourself? Is it possible to get addicted to saving? Is it hard to spend money when you’ve been saving too long? How do you get the balance right?
Until next time!
If you enjoyed this post, you might also like In with the Old and Out with the New - Shopping and the Search for Perfection.
Read More
Saving and Spending: Confessions of a Chronic Underspender
Downsizing, going frugal, cutting spending – everyone’s doing it these days. It’s part of a huge wave of consumer empowerment that the mainstream media seems incapable of grasping, instead simply complaining that ‘retail spending is down’.
Partly as a response to the GFC, the frugal movement ties in beautifully with another trend – people who, empowered by social media, are trying to reduce their carbon footprint and the amount of goods going to landfill while ceasing to purchase goods that exploit others.
Many of the frugal are reformed overspenders and shopping addicts who took control and are now paying back debt and learning to live richly on a much smaller (and saner) budget.
But I’m not one of those people. It took me ages to figure out that in fact I have the opposite problem. I’m not a reformed overspender. I’m a reformed underspender.
Before I became an underspender I was a spendthrift. For most of my twenties I simply spent everything I earned. But even then I wasn’t extravagant; I didn’t even have a credit card (come to think of it, I’ve never had a credit card, apart from a temporary one for an overseas trip; I now have a debit card). Nor was I particularly into shopping, or good at it. I just never saved anything because I didn’t realise I could.
When I started stingeing, I overdid it. It was a correction that went too far. I couldn’t tell the difference between necessary and unnecessary spending. For example, for about four years I went without a car; yet during that time I wouldn’t spend money on taxis to get home from a party, even though I was saving hundreds of dollars a year in car expenses.
I wrote my book, The Inspired Shopper, as an attempt to work out how to spend money wisely and how to buy the things I really needed.
The book has helped me to do those things, and most of things I buy these days are right for me. I imagine it would also be of use to reformed overspenders who want to spend in moderation.
But it doesn’t entirely take away the anxiety about spending. It just means that most of the time I don’t have to act on it (or fail to act because of it). Fear of spending money runs deep. It’s a basic distrust in the process of life. Giving money away to get something in return requires a degree of trust – that the object is not faulty, that it will work for a reasonable amount of time, that you’re not just throwing money away.
Usually I think I’ve worked through this. And then one bad buy and bang! I’m back to underspending hell again.
The lure of underspending
The extreme end of the frugal movement is compacting. Compacters commit to buying no new non-perishable goods, apart from necessities such as underwear and health and safety items, for a year. They can buy secondhand goods, barter, and receive gifts. Compacting seems to be less popular now, but the Fashion Challenge has taken over where compacting left off.
In some ways the Fashion Challenge is more extreme than compacting. For a year you commit to not buying any clothes at all, including underwear, socks, material for making things, or secondhand goods. You can swap clothes with others but you can’t receive clothes or undies as gifts. When I’m in underspending mode, the Fashion Challenge actually sounds quite tempting. No difficult decisions to make!
It’s not that I don’t enjoy shopping these days. I love it. I just don’t love spending. They’re not the same thing.
Underspending is actually quite painful. It can lead to compulsive buying because you end up holding out too long for something you really need. You may hurriedly buy something without checking that it has all the features that you require because you’re so desperate to purchase a necessity.
Neuroscientist Gregory Berns has found that when we have money in our bank accounts (or pockets) it means more to us because it offers unlimited possibilities. We don’t have to commit to spending it on one thing. Twenty thousand dollars could fund an indulgent trip to Paris that includes sampling a series of five-star Michelin restaurants, go towards a down payment on an apartment, or pay for one year of a law course.
When you spend that money, it’s gone. Committing to one or more things means that all the other possibilities fall away. If you’ve been saving for a while, it may become difficult to let a large slice of money go.
Frugality doesn’t mean a miserly approach to life. Most people who write about budgeting recommend building small treats into the process. And many frugal people make it their policy to buy quality goods when they do buy. Ethical purchases make even more sense in this context. Of course, for many people frugality isn’t a choice, it’s a necessity.
The habit of saving
Even if you don’t come from a history of underspending (and I understand that in our consumer society most of us don’t), is it possible to become addicted to frugality so that we become afraid to spend? Could too much compacting be bad for you? Or, once you’ve curbed the overspending, is it relatively simple to get the balance right without too much pain?
I would love to hear from readers about this. How do you know when to save and when to spend? How do you treat yourself? Is it possible to get addicted to saving? Is it hard to spend money when you’ve been saving too long? How do you get the balance right?
Until next time!
If you enjoyed this post, you might also like In with the Old and Out with the New - Shopping and the Search for Perfection.
8/14/11
Labels:
Bricks-and-mortar stores
,
Deprivation
,
frugality
,
Leisure shopping
,
Materialism
What are you really looking for when you shop?
Shiny, upmarket boutiques and department stores drag us away from the imperfections of life, promising an eternal present where things never get lost, get old, wear out or break down.
Their gleaming surfaces and stark cream walls offer a tantalising backdrop from which to ogle an array of items that are pristine – never used, unmarked, tags still on.
When we enter a retail temple we succumb to the illusion that the goods it displays are a kind of virgin territory waiting to be discovered – by us. It’s as if they appeared on the designer shelves fully formed. The seductive store fit-outs urge us to forget about the source of their manufacture. And they beg us to believe that we too can be renewed, and our very lives made over, by this pure, unsullied world.
When we shop, there’s often something in particular we need to buy – something practical. No matter how frugal we are, shoes wear out, jeans tear, gadgets take early retirement, fridges break down. Sometimes buying something new is a necessity, not a hobby or leisure activity. But there are many reasons for our buying that have nothing to do with practical considerations.
A common reason we go out on the hunt is that we’re really seeking something new. One reason why we crave new things is that we're searching for an elusive perfection that's missing from our own lives.
I was backing my car out of the drive and noticed just how untidy the front garden was looking. The art deco style unit I rent is over 70 years old and the outside walls, which are cream-coloured and roughly rendered, are cracked following Melbourne’s recent ten-year drought. The weather has been too miserable for me to garden – well, too miserable for my version of gardening, which basically consists of weeding – and the front yard really needed a mini-makeover.
Easier, of course, to go to the mall and buy something shiny and new.
The same goes for my car, a little emerald green Toyota Starlet. It’s now well over ten years old and is beginning to show its age. There is some loss of colour on the roof, and plenty of scratches. Yet there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. Once a year it gets a service. The mechanics charge like wounded bulls but are finicky to a fault – the sort of mechanics who change the spark plugs regularly. I would love to buy a new secondhand car, a little Echo or Yaris, and I could afford one. But there is absolutely no justification beyond the look of the car, and the need for something that is less worn and in better condition that my trusty Starlet.
Many of us have been taught from an early age that it’s worthwhile to seek perfection, and that if we try hard enough we can attain it. Yet in our lives, so many things are unfinished, unresolved, worn, imperfect. Our relationships and jobs are imperfect. We home in on our physical ‘imperfections’. The problems of the world remain unresolved and seem to get more serious by the day. We are chronically imperfect beings living in a chronically imperfect world.
Clinging to the ideal of perfection can sometimes affect our ability to make good choices – choices that are right for us – when we do have to buy something.
Below are some pointers for combatting the need for perfection that sometimes drives us to buy, and can also adversely affect how we buy.
1. Give your existing possessions some TLC. Think of making your things and environment better rather than perfect. Polish your shoes and boots, reorganise your cupboards and drawers, handwash your sweaters, get your mending up to date or do some handyperson tasks around the house. This kind of self-maintenance can be extremely rewarding – it makes you feel looked after and makes your things seem newer and more valuable. You’ll gain an appreciation of what you already have, and how it is serving you, and you’ll have less need to seek the new. I know that when I get around to weeding my front yard the cracked walls won't bother me as much. I always feel much better about my Starlet when I’ve lavished some attention on it – taken it to the carwash, vacuumed the seats and carpet, polished the windows.
2. Celebrate and highlight the worn and used aspects of possessions. Old can mean full of character, lived in, loved. Part of the frugal and thrifty movement is to play up and enhance the ‘old’ aspects of objects. We already do this for some things – jeans come to us prefaded, and some homewares stores proudly display their ‘shabby chic’ furniture. Repurposing, such as stacking old trunks to make a table, is now a craze. I’ve already placed plants in large terracotta pots against the cracked outer walls of my unit to create an olde worlde look, and I intend to add more, working around the cracks rather than trying to hide them.
3. Hide an imperfection you can’t easily live with. There are some imperfections that are simply irritating rather than endearing. We’re visual creatures, and it’s easy to forget what isn’t in front of our eyes. Cover up a mangy carpet with a bright rug. Cover the fading on a piece of upholstered furniture with an attractive throw. You may sometimes have to buy something new (or secondhand) to do this, but at least you’re dealing with the imperfection rather than blindly buying something unrelated in a bid to ignore it, or spending thousands on new fittings or furniture. This is especially worthwhile if you’re renting your home and can’t make significant changes to the decor.
4. Replace the concept of ‘perfect’ with ‘right’. This goes for all areas of life as well as objects – partners, friends, work, home, and even suburb. Instead of thinking about things as not being perfect, ask yourself whether they are in fact right for you at this time. Of course, not everything will be – when something isn’t right, making changes is not just worthwhile but vital. But when we’re measuring the things we have – both materially and otherwise – why not try to replace the measure of perfection that we often have in our minds with the measure of rightness?
Until next time!
If you enjoyed this post, you might like Inspired Thrifting: What Makes a Good Find at the Op Shop or Thrift Store?
(Picture courtesy of oh my goods!)
Read More
In with the Old and Out with the New - Shopping and the Search for Perfection
What are you really looking for when you shop?
Shiny, upmarket boutiques and department stores drag us away from the imperfections of life, promising an eternal present where things never get lost, get old, wear out or break down.
Their gleaming surfaces and stark cream walls offer a tantalising backdrop from which to ogle an array of items that are pristine – never used, unmarked, tags still on.
When we enter a retail temple we succumb to the illusion that the goods it displays are a kind of virgin territory waiting to be discovered – by us. It’s as if they appeared on the designer shelves fully formed. The seductive store fit-outs urge us to forget about the source of their manufacture. And they beg us to believe that we too can be renewed, and our very lives made over, by this pure, unsullied world.
When we shop, there’s often something in particular we need to buy – something practical. No matter how frugal we are, shoes wear out, jeans tear, gadgets take early retirement, fridges break down. Sometimes buying something new is a necessity, not a hobby or leisure activity. But there are many reasons for our buying that have nothing to do with practical considerations.
A common reason we go out on the hunt is that we’re really seeking something new. One reason why we crave new things is that we're searching for an elusive perfection that's missing from our own lives.
I was backing my car out of the drive and noticed just how untidy the front garden was looking. The art deco style unit I rent is over 70 years old and the outside walls, which are cream-coloured and roughly rendered, are cracked following Melbourne’s recent ten-year drought. The weather has been too miserable for me to garden – well, too miserable for my version of gardening, which basically consists of weeding – and the front yard really needed a mini-makeover.
Easier, of course, to go to the mall and buy something shiny and new.
The same goes for my car, a little emerald green Toyota Starlet. It’s now well over ten years old and is beginning to show its age. There is some loss of colour on the roof, and plenty of scratches. Yet there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. Once a year it gets a service. The mechanics charge like wounded bulls but are finicky to a fault – the sort of mechanics who change the spark plugs regularly. I would love to buy a new secondhand car, a little Echo or Yaris, and I could afford one. But there is absolutely no justification beyond the look of the car, and the need for something that is less worn and in better condition that my trusty Starlet.
Many of us have been taught from an early age that it’s worthwhile to seek perfection, and that if we try hard enough we can attain it. Yet in our lives, so many things are unfinished, unresolved, worn, imperfect. Our relationships and jobs are imperfect. We home in on our physical ‘imperfections’. The problems of the world remain unresolved and seem to get more serious by the day. We are chronically imperfect beings living in a chronically imperfect world.
Clinging to the ideal of perfection can sometimes affect our ability to make good choices – choices that are right for us – when we do have to buy something.
Below are some pointers for combatting the need for perfection that sometimes drives us to buy, and can also adversely affect how we buy.
1. Give your existing possessions some TLC. Think of making your things and environment better rather than perfect. Polish your shoes and boots, reorganise your cupboards and drawers, handwash your sweaters, get your mending up to date or do some handyperson tasks around the house. This kind of self-maintenance can be extremely rewarding – it makes you feel looked after and makes your things seem newer and more valuable. You’ll gain an appreciation of what you already have, and how it is serving you, and you’ll have less need to seek the new. I know that when I get around to weeding my front yard the cracked walls won't bother me as much. I always feel much better about my Starlet when I’ve lavished some attention on it – taken it to the carwash, vacuumed the seats and carpet, polished the windows.
2. Celebrate and highlight the worn and used aspects of possessions. Old can mean full of character, lived in, loved. Part of the frugal and thrifty movement is to play up and enhance the ‘old’ aspects of objects. We already do this for some things – jeans come to us prefaded, and some homewares stores proudly display their ‘shabby chic’ furniture. Repurposing, such as stacking old trunks to make a table, is now a craze. I’ve already placed plants in large terracotta pots against the cracked outer walls of my unit to create an olde worlde look, and I intend to add more, working around the cracks rather than trying to hide them.
3. Hide an imperfection you can’t easily live with. There are some imperfections that are simply irritating rather than endearing. We’re visual creatures, and it’s easy to forget what isn’t in front of our eyes. Cover up a mangy carpet with a bright rug. Cover the fading on a piece of upholstered furniture with an attractive throw. You may sometimes have to buy something new (or secondhand) to do this, but at least you’re dealing with the imperfection rather than blindly buying something unrelated in a bid to ignore it, or spending thousands on new fittings or furniture. This is especially worthwhile if you’re renting your home and can’t make significant changes to the decor.
4. Replace the concept of ‘perfect’ with ‘right’. This goes for all areas of life as well as objects – partners, friends, work, home, and even suburb. Instead of thinking about things as not being perfect, ask yourself whether they are in fact right for you at this time. Of course, not everything will be – when something isn’t right, making changes is not just worthwhile but vital. But when we’re measuring the things we have – both materially and otherwise – why not try to replace the measure of perfection that we often have in our minds with the measure of rightness?
Until next time!
If you enjoyed this post, you might like Inspired Thrifting: What Makes a Good Find at the Op Shop or Thrift Store?
(Picture courtesy of oh my goods!)
8/10/11
Labels:
Deprivation
,
Emotions
,
frugality
When I joined Tweetdeck, I set it up to search for tweets on the topic of retail. Now I’m bombarded with tweets about retail every few seconds. A huge proportion of these tweets consist of either ‘I need retail therapy’ or ‘I love retail therapy’.
There is often a hidden logic in our reasons for seeking retail therapy. Perhaps we feel we deserve a treat, or something bad has happened that we need to process. Yet we don’t usually get what we really need when we use shopping to mediate our emotions. On the contrary, the short-term high from the hit of dopamine when we buy can lead to long-term buyer’s remorse and a serious debt problem.
It’s still important to reward and treat ourselves sometimes. Perhaps you’ve done a solid stretch of work and need time out. Perhaps you’re a bit down and need a pick-me-up. Perhaps you’re just feeling needy or bored.
Below are some tips for ‘rewards’ and treats that are either cheap or free. Some of them are absurdly simple, but they may be hard to put into practice. Society not only gives us permission to shop, but presents it as a virtue. Governments panic when consumers stop buying. After 9/11, George Bush told Americans that shopping was a patriotic act! Self-care and nurturing don’t make the big corporations any money. It can feel a bit self-indulgent to look after yourself, while hitting the streets and scoring a bargain feels more like an achievement. Giving yourself permission for non-retail treats and rewards is the first step in combating the need for retail therapy. Here are some options.
* If it’s a nice day, grab a rug, a water bottle, a hat and a good book or newspaper and head down to the nearest park. Sit yourself under a friendly oak and wile away an hour communing with nature and your favourite author. Or simply set yourself up in the backyard on a sun lounge with your iPod and a good book.
* Schedule some serious down time. (This will be hard if you’re a workaholic or have kids, but if you can arrange it with your spouse it’s a great way to regenerate your batteries.) Allot yourself a set amount of time on the couch. Set up your supplies (hot drink, healthy snack, books and newspapers) or simply have a nap. Alternatively, retreat to bed with said supplies. A ‘doona day’ (or half a day) may sound lazy but can be incredibly replenishing.
* Stake out a public art gallery holding a free exhibition in a neighbouring or rural town, pack a lunch and head on down – make a day of it.
* Find out from the internet or your local paper if there are free or very cheap architectural/historical tours in your area. Profit-making tours are expensive but sometimes local history societies hold walking tours for as little as a $2 donation.
* Enjoy a relaxing bath, complete with bath salts, essential oils and gentle music.
* Give yourself a pedicure, including a foot soak, in front of your favourite TV program.
* Plan a low-cost ‘date’ with your spouse or partner. Plan a frugal meal, buy some cleanskin wine and candles and choose some romantic music. Or simply go for a stroll along the beach or a river followed by a coffee.
* Visit a flea market and allocate yourself a small amount of spending money. Tramp around and soak up the atmosphere.
* If you’re into gardening or just like viewing gorgeous gardens, visit a garden show – these vary in price but can often be quite cheap. Find out if your local area has any open garden schemes, with owners of beautiful gardens opening them to the public for a small entry fee.
* Arrange to stay with a friend in another state, town or region.
* Arrange to have a Skype or phone chat with an out-of-town pal that you haven’t heard from for a while.
* Take advantage of any free summer concerts held by your local council.
* Schedule some laughter time. Hire a stack of comedy DVDs or Blu-rays. Choose shows and movies that you can rely on to make you laugh. Alternatively, borrow comedy DVDs from your friends. (Note: you don’t have to wait to the weekend to do this; it's often cheaper to hire DVDs during the week anyway.)
* Schedule some crying time. Borrow DVDs or Blu-rays that you know will give you the chance for a good bawl.
* Schedule some time to bake one of your favourite dishes. When I was a kid we didn’t make biscuits (cookies) much, we made slices – hedgehog, brownies, coconut ice, and my personal favourite, the three-layered caramel slice. If you’re trying to steer clear of sugar, bake a favourite savoury dish or experiment with Italian, Thai, Indian or Mexican food.
* Get some pet therapy. If you don’t have your own dog, borrow a friend or relative’s dog and take them to the local dog park. Not only will you get lots of doggie energy and probably enjoy some friendly chats, but you’ll earn the unconditional love of a faithful friend. Or connect with the local wildlife: a friend of mine lives opposite a park with a pond, and on most days he finds time to check in with the duck family who live there.
* Put some music on and dance around your lounge room.
* Plan a cheap beauty therapy afternoon with your pals. Make beauty masks from common ingredients, and/or dye your hair and paint your nails.
If you enjoyed this post you might also enjoy Are Any of These Negative Beliefs about Money Holding You Back?
Until next time!
Read More
Need an Alternative to Retail Therapy? 18 Low or No-Cost Ways to Treat Yourself
When I joined Tweetdeck, I set it up to search for tweets on the topic of retail. Now I’m bombarded with tweets about retail every few seconds. A huge proportion of these tweets consist of either ‘I need retail therapy’ or ‘I love retail therapy’.
There is often a hidden logic in our reasons for seeking retail therapy. Perhaps we feel we deserve a treat, or something bad has happened that we need to process. Yet we don’t usually get what we really need when we use shopping to mediate our emotions. On the contrary, the short-term high from the hit of dopamine when we buy can lead to long-term buyer’s remorse and a serious debt problem.
It’s still important to reward and treat ourselves sometimes. Perhaps you’ve done a solid stretch of work and need time out. Perhaps you’re a bit down and need a pick-me-up. Perhaps you’re just feeling needy or bored.
Below are some tips for ‘rewards’ and treats that are either cheap or free. Some of them are absurdly simple, but they may be hard to put into practice. Society not only gives us permission to shop, but presents it as a virtue. Governments panic when consumers stop buying. After 9/11, George Bush told Americans that shopping was a patriotic act! Self-care and nurturing don’t make the big corporations any money. It can feel a bit self-indulgent to look after yourself, while hitting the streets and scoring a bargain feels more like an achievement. Giving yourself permission for non-retail treats and rewards is the first step in combating the need for retail therapy. Here are some options.
* If it’s a nice day, grab a rug, a water bottle, a hat and a good book or newspaper and head down to the nearest park. Sit yourself under a friendly oak and wile away an hour communing with nature and your favourite author. Or simply set yourself up in the backyard on a sun lounge with your iPod and a good book.
* Schedule some serious down time. (This will be hard if you’re a workaholic or have kids, but if you can arrange it with your spouse it’s a great way to regenerate your batteries.) Allot yourself a set amount of time on the couch. Set up your supplies (hot drink, healthy snack, books and newspapers) or simply have a nap. Alternatively, retreat to bed with said supplies. A ‘doona day’ (or half a day) may sound lazy but can be incredibly replenishing.
* Stake out a public art gallery holding a free exhibition in a neighbouring or rural town, pack a lunch and head on down – make a day of it.
* Find out from the internet or your local paper if there are free or very cheap architectural/historical tours in your area. Profit-making tours are expensive but sometimes local history societies hold walking tours for as little as a $2 donation.
* Enjoy a relaxing bath, complete with bath salts, essential oils and gentle music.
* Give yourself a pedicure, including a foot soak, in front of your favourite TV program.
* Plan a low-cost ‘date’ with your spouse or partner. Plan a frugal meal, buy some cleanskin wine and candles and choose some romantic music. Or simply go for a stroll along the beach or a river followed by a coffee.
* Visit a flea market and allocate yourself a small amount of spending money. Tramp around and soak up the atmosphere.
* If you’re into gardening or just like viewing gorgeous gardens, visit a garden show – these vary in price but can often be quite cheap. Find out if your local area has any open garden schemes, with owners of beautiful gardens opening them to the public for a small entry fee.
* Arrange to stay with a friend in another state, town or region.
* Arrange to have a Skype or phone chat with an out-of-town pal that you haven’t heard from for a while.
* Take advantage of any free summer concerts held by your local council.
* Schedule some laughter time. Hire a stack of comedy DVDs or Blu-rays. Choose shows and movies that you can rely on to make you laugh. Alternatively, borrow comedy DVDs from your friends. (Note: you don’t have to wait to the weekend to do this; it's often cheaper to hire DVDs during the week anyway.)
* Schedule some crying time. Borrow DVDs or Blu-rays that you know will give you the chance for a good bawl.
* Schedule some time to bake one of your favourite dishes. When I was a kid we didn’t make biscuits (cookies) much, we made slices – hedgehog, brownies, coconut ice, and my personal favourite, the three-layered caramel slice. If you’re trying to steer clear of sugar, bake a favourite savoury dish or experiment with Italian, Thai, Indian or Mexican food.
* Get some pet therapy. If you don’t have your own dog, borrow a friend or relative’s dog and take them to the local dog park. Not only will you get lots of doggie energy and probably enjoy some friendly chats, but you’ll earn the unconditional love of a faithful friend. Or connect with the local wildlife: a friend of mine lives opposite a park with a pond, and on most days he finds time to check in with the duck family who live there.
* Put some music on and dance around your lounge room.
* Plan a cheap beauty therapy afternoon with your pals. Make beauty masks from common ingredients, and/or dye your hair and paint your nails.
If you enjoyed this post you might also enjoy Are Any of These Negative Beliefs about Money Holding You Back?
Until next time!
1/17/08
Labels:
Bargains
,
Deprivation
,
Fashion
,
Intuition
Yesterday I went on another clothes shopping jaunt -- definitely my last for the summer. I went to my local Target, which almost literally throws out clothes at this time of year. Clothes were discounted up to 60 per cent, and dresses and other items from one of the designer lines were selling for as little as $19, down from over $100 in some cases.
Two things emerged out of my little trip.
More and more I'm coming to embrace, rather than just accept feelings of deprivation as part of the Inspired Shopping experience. When I'm choosing what to try on and, in the changeroom, what to buy, there will be some items that my emotions or rational mind tell me I should buy but my intuition doesn't.
The Yeojin Bae dresses for instance. One of them, a simple black shift with V-neck, short sleeves and made of a satin-like material, seemed too good not to buy. And at under $20, what did I have to lose? But I knew I wouldn't wear it more than once or twice, and I'm just not prepared to buy clothes that fit into that category (unless for a once-off super special occasion). Plus (and I'm afraid this is a secondary consideration, but it's still a valid one) there was no doubt someone would come along who would get a hell of a lot more wear out of it than I would -- in other words, it had someone else's name on it.
So, in making even my initial choices, I frequently feel a sense of loss. I don't want to minimise this. It's very difficult, when you're good at spotting bargains, to hold back when there are shoppers around you wielding carts and dumping multiples of cut-price clothes into them (some of the clothes, no doubt, destined for eBay). But these feelings are actually fine, because they tell me I'm working the process properly, and practising discrimination. Yesterday I ended up taking five items to the changeroom and buying only two of them, a short-sleeved emerald green cardigan for $15.50, and a drawstring cap sleeve casual top, in a royal blue that really suited me, for $6.50. Not a bad morning's work!
However, my sense of deprivation continued in the changeroom, when my intuition said no to a pair of $11 jeans. And there was the $10 jacket, down from about $80, with just a button missing and very cute, large lapels -- OK, so it was two sizes too big and I work from home so don't need such office wear, but again, hard to part with. 'Someone is really going to appreciate this find', I thought as I put it back on the hanger.
The fact is, I don't need to know why my intuition -- my deepest self -- sometimes 'rejects' the things that my conscious self thinks are OK. Often I can guess of course, but I'm happy just to trust the process.
The other thing I realised is that I definitely have enough clothes for the rest of summer. The urge for new things can sometimes be a refusal, on my part, to look at new ways to pair up the clothes I have. Sometimes I can wear something only a few times and find it's already lost its sense of newness. Then I know it's time to pair it with something I haven't tried it with before.
I'll be avoiding the sales for a little while, although I'll pop into my favourite fashion stores to look at the autumn ranges (I really enjoy this browsing aspect of shopping).
Read More
Deprivation and the delights of mix 'n' match
Yesterday I went on another clothes shopping jaunt -- definitely my last for the summer. I went to my local Target, which almost literally throws out clothes at this time of year. Clothes were discounted up to 60 per cent, and dresses and other items from one of the designer lines were selling for as little as $19, down from over $100 in some cases.
Two things emerged out of my little trip.
More and more I'm coming to embrace, rather than just accept feelings of deprivation as part of the Inspired Shopping experience. When I'm choosing what to try on and, in the changeroom, what to buy, there will be some items that my emotions or rational mind tell me I should buy but my intuition doesn't.
The Yeojin Bae dresses for instance. One of them, a simple black shift with V-neck, short sleeves and made of a satin-like material, seemed too good not to buy. And at under $20, what did I have to lose? But I knew I wouldn't wear it more than once or twice, and I'm just not prepared to buy clothes that fit into that category (unless for a once-off super special occasion). Plus (and I'm afraid this is a secondary consideration, but it's still a valid one) there was no doubt someone would come along who would get a hell of a lot more wear out of it than I would -- in other words, it had someone else's name on it.
So, in making even my initial choices, I frequently feel a sense of loss. I don't want to minimise this. It's very difficult, when you're good at spotting bargains, to hold back when there are shoppers around you wielding carts and dumping multiples of cut-price clothes into them (some of the clothes, no doubt, destined for eBay). But these feelings are actually fine, because they tell me I'm working the process properly, and practising discrimination. Yesterday I ended up taking five items to the changeroom and buying only two of them, a short-sleeved emerald green cardigan for $15.50, and a drawstring cap sleeve casual top, in a royal blue that really suited me, for $6.50. Not a bad morning's work!
However, my sense of deprivation continued in the changeroom, when my intuition said no to a pair of $11 jeans. And there was the $10 jacket, down from about $80, with just a button missing and very cute, large lapels -- OK, so it was two sizes too big and I work from home so don't need such office wear, but again, hard to part with. 'Someone is really going to appreciate this find', I thought as I put it back on the hanger.
The fact is, I don't need to know why my intuition -- my deepest self -- sometimes 'rejects' the things that my conscious self thinks are OK. Often I can guess of course, but I'm happy just to trust the process.
The other thing I realised is that I definitely have enough clothes for the rest of summer. The urge for new things can sometimes be a refusal, on my part, to look at new ways to pair up the clothes I have. Sometimes I can wear something only a few times and find it's already lost its sense of newness. Then I know it's time to pair it with something I haven't tried it with before.
I'll be avoiding the sales for a little while, although I'll pop into my favourite fashion stores to look at the autumn ranges (I really enjoy this browsing aspect of shopping).
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