The Inspired Shopper

Pic: Grove Arcade bookstore, by Joel Kramer

This piece was first written in 2009, for an earlier blog of mine. I thought it would be good to give it another airing on the Inspired Shopper blog because it reflects on a shopping dilemma that I deal with to this very day!
I have just bought a new, LCD, digital, HD (not 'complete' HD – there aren't enough pixels) flat-screen TV and had it installed using the combined efforts of the nice aerial man and a long-suffering friend of mine who is electronically advantaged. And I feel slightly traumatised.

I knew this feeling was coming and I was prepared. Every time I acquire an item that significantly alters my domestic environment, such as a new, expensive-ish piece of furniture or anything in the way of brown-, white- or blackgoods, I go through a 'trial period' where I am convinced I have made a huge mistake and should just go back to frittering away my money on clothes.

I know where and how this started. For many years I just didn't know how to shop. I rarely had enough money to buy new household items so acquired my parents' or friends' cast-off fridges, crappy vacuum cleaners and so on. When I was forced to buy something new I just went for the bottom-of-the-range model, and I rarely shopped around for the best price.

Then I started to earn a bit of money. Somehow I found myself with a luxurious wool underlay and top-of-the-range, down-filled doona that conspired to overheat and dry out my entire body so I'd wake at 3 in the morning feeling like a piece of dehydrated meat and screaming for water (that was 2002 and I still haven't got around to selling that underlay on eBay).

My next try was a heater and for this adventure I turned into Goldilocks, returning the first heater because it was too cold and the second because it was too powerful, then skulking to another shop to buy a heater that was 'just right'.

An education in shopping

The impulse buy – the expensive item you come home with when you actually intended to pick up a packet of pasta, a jar of anchovies and some tinned tomatoes – is an institution in our shopping culture. ‘I just bought it on impulse’, we say, or ‘I was just passing and I saw it and I had to have it’.

Impulse purchases are unplanned purchases. They often occur at cash registers where goods are displayed so as to tempt shoppers as they leave the store. You’re most vulnerable to an unwise impulse buy when you’re tired, hungry, or feeling low.

The irony of the impulse buy is the contrast between the buyer’s lack of conscious planning and the lengths that stores go to in preparing their ambush. About 60 per cent of what we buy is unplanned, and store displays are carefully designed and positioned to tempt us to reach for our wallets or add an extra item to our trolleys on the spur of the moment.

The internet is rife with its own triggers for impulse buying. Anonymity, easy use of credit cards, navigational software and a seemingly infinite number of choices make the internet an ideal environment for encouraging us to buy on impulse.

Impulse buys aren't all the same

The difference between an impulse buy and something you buy intuitively – something that you really do need and want – isn’t always obvious. In fact, they can sometimes be the same thing – it depends on the reasons behind the purchase.

Often when we buy things suddenly, we’ve actually been planning the purchase for a long time. One evening my brother-in-law Robert came home with a shivery little ginger-coloured spaniel. He’d supposedly bought the pup ‘on impulse’, but his two young daughters had been nagging him to get them a puppy for over a year. Perhaps Robert hadn’t planned to buy the puppy – but his unconscious mind had.

On the other hand, if you’re feeling low and find yourself poised to purchase some overpriced video game based on a blockbuster that you enjoyed at the cinema, although you have no idea whether the game itself is any good, this is less likely to be the result of intuition.

So how do you distinguish between a good impulse buy and an unwise one? Here are some tips to keep you on track.

1. Have a budget in place. A budget with allocated spending for different categories gives you a structure that helps you to identify whether you can afford the item that’s clamouring for your attention.

2. Start a Priority List. A Priority List, which I describe in detail in my book The Inspired Shopper, makes a great supplement to a budget. It’s basically a list of all the things you want and need. Prepare this list slowly and mindfully, noting how you feel as you write an item down. Do you really need the item or not? Could you repurpose something instead?

If an item you get the urge to buy on impulse is on your Priority List, it may be something you want and need. But you still need to ‘check in’ at the time to ensure that it feels right to buy it.

3. Get in touch how are you’re feeling. There are many emotions that can tip us over into wanting to buy. Sometimes the item may be directly related to how you’re feeling (a chocolate bar when you’re hungry) or sometimes it’s just that you’re desperate to buy something – anything – and the item conveniently presents itself in front of you! Common feelings that can set off the urge to buy are sadness, disappointment, anger, fatigue, hunger – but even positive emotions like joy, triumph and relief can lead us to buy.

4. Tap into your intuition. There is another layer of experience deeper than emotions – your intuition. It’s always there, regardless of how you’re feeling. Once you’ve worked out how your intuition responds in shopping situations, you can always rely on it. Start to experiment with it in simple scenarios, like choosing the best bunch of celery, and go from there.

5. Let go of the item. Letting go of an item before you decide whether to buy it – a process I call relinquishing – is very similar to a cooling-off period. But it doesn’t rely on moving physically away from the item, or waiting a long time before making a decision. What’s important with relinquishing is that you actually let go of the item mentally. You decide that you won’t buy it, place it back of the shelf or rack, and then you stop to listen to how your intuition responds. Does it feel genuinely wrong to leave the item behind? Or is there a sense of relief?

The impulse buy and your Priority List

An impulse buy that your unconscious has been planning for a while may sometimes be a good thing. Deliberately hunting out a new wool wrap, kitchen trolley or pair of summer sandals can lead to a long, fruitless and debilitating search; when you most feel you need something, you often can’t find it.

The Priority List lets your unconscious do the searching for you. When you have an idea of all the things you need, you can be proactive without really trying because your unconscious mind will be on the lookout for those items. When the right item appears, you’ve checked out the specifications, the price is right and you’re ready to buy, snap it up.

However, in the case of any significant purchase, you’ll need to carry out research before you buy. You can delay what would otherwise have been an impulse purchase by researching the item once you’ve found it.

Should you buy something on impulse if it’s not already on your Priority List? Ultimately you make the rules – how much structure you need depends on how prone you are to overspending, and how confident you are that you can stick to your budget.

The more you practise, the better you’ll be at distinguishing between intuitive and purely emotional shopping desires. It’s better to err on the side of caution if you’re unsure –you can always put something on your Priority List once you find it, and go back and buy it when you’ve had time to decide whether it will genuinely enhance your life.

Until next time!



If you enjoyed this post, you might like How to Stay Calm When Shopping Online!

One of the traps it’s easy to fall into as a shopper is to buy something because you think you should. This basically means that your rational mind alone believes you need the item.

It’s fine to have a rational basis for wanting to buy something, but your intuition also needs to be involved in the decision-making process.

It’s amazing how many things some of us buy that we think we truly need, then don’t end up using.

The functions of some of these items can be carried out simply by repurposing. The crafty–frugal movement has lots of great information about this.

The Shopping Shoulds crop up in all kinds of situations, some of which are detailed in my forthcoming book, The Inspired Shopper. One scenario that can give rise to the Shopping Should is when you receive a gift voucher or money as a present.

Recognising the Shopping Shoulds

When you receive a gift voucher or cash as a birthday or Christmas present, three things can happen. Entirely new needs can present themselves (pun intended); you may already have a specific item that you’ve had your eye on for ages; or you may have a general idea of an item but not have the specifics worked out.

In any of these scenarios, you may experience the urge to spend the money quickly – both to let the giver know that you bought something worthwhile, and, if you received money, to ensure you don’t simply fritter it away on petrol and groceries.

If you have a specific item that you’d already chosen before receiving the gift, that’s great. You already knew that you wanted and needed the item, and now, with the help of your gift voucher or money, you can ‘claim’ it. As you’re buying it, you still need to check in with your intuition to ensure it’s right.

But if you only have a general idea of the kind of item you want, it’s especially important to proceed with caution. Remember, there’s no hurry. Don’t fall into the trap of buying something before you’re really ready.

Tips for avoiding the Shoppng Shoulds

• Try to let go of your desire to have the item right away.

• Don't conduct bricks-and-mortar searches just for the one item. For example, avoid going to a mall to look for that item alone. Wait until your unconscious mind prompts you, and visit a shopping centre when you’re on the lookout for more than one thing.

• If you’re browsing on the internet, keep telling yourself that you’re just looking – despite the convenience of buying something right away, there’s no need to rush things.

• As you look around, refine the sense of what you’re looking for – the colour, texture and so on. Think about your lifestyle, and what functions the item needs to have in order to enhance it.

• While you’re going through this process, think about whether or not you really need the item. Could an existing item be repurposed?

• Only buy the item when you receive a gentle nudge from your intuitive self. In the case of money you receive as a gift, remember, it’s now yours – if you want to spend it on something practical, that’s fine.

Bear in mind that wherever safety or risk is an issue, this advice doesn’t apply. Always err on the side of caution, for example if you’re planning to take a trip up the Amazon River(!) or buying a product for a baby or child that needs to meet particular safety standards (especially if you’re buying secondhand).

More on how to avoid the Shopping Shoulds can be found in my forthcoming book The Inspired Shopper, which is out soon as a Kindle ebook!

Yesterday I went on an Inspired Shopping jaunt, not expecting too much. I did have a list -- a small Christmas present for my mum, a small present for my sister Eleanor (I've bought their main presents but felt something more was needed), and my own Kris Kringle, to be given to me by another sister, Simone. I went to Chadstone, a large shopping mall that I live close to.

Despite my list, I was open to other possibilities. As an inspired shopper I keep what I call a priority list of all my shopping wants and needs -- it works like a set of affirmations. So I knew if I found something on the priority list, apart from my immediate shopping list, I'd be open to buying it.

I was tired, and decided to use my visit as a kind of Inspired Shopping experiment. In my book I advise people to check into how they're feeling before they head for a spot of leisure shopping. I felt I needed to go despite my fatigue, but I was aware that I probably wouldn't have the most efficient and fun shopping experience of my life.

In the end it all worked out really well. I kept on finding small 'presents' for myself, and felt guilty about this. But the funny thing was, the 'presents' ended up coming to $30, which was exactly the amount my sister was going to spend on me for the family Kris Kringle! I had really given up on having this present worked out, because I had decided I would source a shopping trolley for about $30 and tell my sister where she could buy it for me -- and I couldn't for the life of me find a suitable shopping trolley, let alone one at the price I wanted.

In the end I found myself with 3 bargains -- a great, colour book on Zen meditation for $10; a double CD of Leonard Cohen hits for $10; and a double Miles Davis CD for $10. I'd succeeded in finding my Kris Kringle without really trying. And in the process, I'd found a great supplementary present for my mother, at the same place I found the two CD bargains: a new edition of Vivaldi's Four Seasons with an attractive cover. Lastly, I narrowed the present I'm buying my friend to two or three possibilities.

What was wonderful about this was that I hadn't tried too hard. If I go out thinking that I've got to have a great Inspired Shopping experience, it's more difficult for the process to work. Instead I let go, allowing myself to be fatigued and knowing that I might well arrive home with nothing. I also came to a conclusion about my tiredness: I wasn't feeling irritated, despite the fact that the place was full of frenzied Christmas shoppers -- if I'd been feeling both tired and irritated, I might have cut the visit short.

I still have to buy a small present for my sister, as well as decide on a present for my friend -- as an inspired shopper, I try not to put pressure on myself to get everything done in the one trip. Another successful bout of Inspired Shopping, and I learned something about myself at the same time!