The Inspired Shopper

When you shop with friends, are you encouraging each other to overspend?

Writing The Inspired Shopper really got me thinking about how I buy fashion. Currently I have a moratorium on most mainstream brands, and am buying only from those with ethical (but not sustainable) accreditation, as well as secondhand clothes.

Recently I went clothes shopping with a friend in Acland Street, a tourist precinct near St Kilda beach that is famed for its cake shops, but in recent decades has succumbed to commercialisation. We wandered into one of those overstocked stores that sells obscure brands made in China and has prices that scream ‘sweatshop’. I didn’t buy anything myself, but when my friend held up a bright red fitted jacket and asked me what I thought of it, I found myself encouraging her to try it on.

While I was still completing The Inspired Shopper, I visited my dentist for a check-up and clean. I mentioned that I was working on the book as I was getting seated on the dental chair, and this gave my dentist and her dental nurse permission to discuss their shopping lives – I listened avidly, only able to nod vigorously, as tubes and drills were stuck in my mouth! The dental nurse confessed that her friends often encouraged her to buy expensive items that she often regretted when she got home.

Shopping with friends is a recreational pastime that never loses popularity. It’s fun, uplifting and a great distraction from whatever problems we’re dealing with. But friends can exert undue pressure on you to buy something, particularly when it comes to fashion. This can be difficult to resist, but often it’s their own agenda they’re pursuing, not yours.

Why does this happen? I think the human tendency to help other people spend their money actually starts with empathy rather than greed. Perhaps your friend is urging you to purchase that bright orange sundress because she’d like to buy it herself but it doesn’t suit her; or perhaps it’s beyond her budget and she knows that you can afford it.

Or perhaps your friend is addicted to shopping and, like a heavy drinker who needs to get drunk with others, wants a spendthrift companion to justify her own overspending.

In my case, the red jacket didn’t fit with my ethical beliefs, but I was still willing to encourage my friend to buy it.

My friend doesn’t have a spending addiction – in fact, she’s pretty careful with money – and neither do I. But what if she had had an addiction? Can friends shopping together encourage each others’ compulsive buying habits? Are you more likely to overspend if you go shopping with a friend?

The answer to the last question may be yes. According to retail guru Paco Underhill, women often spend more time and money when they shop with a friend than when they shop alone. (This is especially the case with teenage girls, who spend more money when they’re with a group of friends.)

It doesn’t have to be that way – when you’re shopping with another person it’s possible to have fun even if you arrive home empty handed. Here are some tips:

* Give yourself a breather before buying. If you're out shopping with friends and you see something you think you want to buy, ask your friends what they think, but don’t buy the item; ask the store to put it away for a few hours. Wait until it’s time to take a coffee or food break and then use the time off to decide whether you really want it.

* Use the day purely for recreation, not buying. If you think it might be too hard to make a buying decision with friends around, you could decide to simply enjoy the socialising and browsing aspects of the day without buying anything. If something catches your eye, you can always ask to have it put away for a few days, and return later to buy it if it still feels right.

* Try the ‘broken record’ technique. If your friends are insistent about you buying something, you can calmly refuse, without changing your tone or expressing anger, every time they insist. Each time you have to repeat yourself, change the wording slightly, eg ‘Thanks for your input, but I’ll have to think about it’; ‘I value your opinion, but I just don’t feel like buying that’.

* Shop with friends who are in touch with their intuition. It’s sometimes possible to harness the intuitive energy of others to make better decisions. I have a friend who is quite intuitive, and when I’m having trouble making a decision, she lets me know what her intuition is telling her; this sometimes helps me get more in tune with mine.

* Get into the habit of shopping with friends at thrift shops and recycle stores. Because the choices made at these stores tend to be more individualised and you have to hunt for goods that are right for you, you’ll probably put less pressure on each other to buy.

* Let other people make their own decisions. It’s important to let go when you think that a friend or loved one is making a poor shopping decision. Offer your opinion if it’s sought – and if you’re sufficiently close, even if it’s not – but let the other person make up their own mind.

* Look at your own motivations when shopping with friends. If you sometimes play the role of shopping addiction ‘enabler’ yourself, ask yourself why you want your friends to spend their money and whether you need to work on your own attitudes to spending.

Until next time!


If you enjoyed this post, you might like How to Distinguish between a Good and Bad Impulse Buy.
                                                                                                                                                                 

In its 26-year history the Fringe Furniture Exhibition has proven to be an accurate barometer of emerging talent, trends and ideas in interior design and architecture.

So much so that it now has iconic status as a central part of Melbourne's annual Fringe Festival, a showcase of innovative and cutting-edge art across a range of genres.

The theme of this year's exhibition, 'Dancing in the dark', fittingly deals with the elephant in the room when it comes to the future of design, and indeed Life As We Know It - sustainability. Forty-five up-and-coming furniture designers have responded to what seems like an overwhelming environmental challenge with a tiny 'dance step' towards a greener future. Their work is showing in an industrially themed space fittingly located in the picturesque Abbotsford Convent.

There were plenty of enthusiastic visitors when I popped along last Saturday afternoon. Some of the works opted for a homely aesthetic that privileged function over form. But a number of works delighted the eye as well as the conscience.

David Davenport's square table with diagonal legs, made from recycled Australian hardwoods, was an example of classic elegance melded with contemporary design. Christopher Shaw's 'Maeva' cabinet, made from Sydney bluegum, and Ryan Straford's 'Red Hill' seat, made from oak wine barrels, both used shape and texture to create warmly pleasing furniture. MacGregor Knox's 'Rosa' (pictured below) a bold curvilinear lounge chair made from salvaged sequoia wood and reclaimed soft urethene, created visual impact through exaggerated form.


The lightshades in particular shone - pun intended. Who knew recycled champagne bottles could be so attractive? Ashley Allen, that's who. Then there was Sally-Anne Mill's flamboyant chandelier collection, 'Spring collection II', made from salvaged springs. This collection deservedly won the Best Design Addressing the 2011 Fringe Furniture Theme award, as well as the Lighting Design award.

But the highlight for me was the collection of 'Mr.Cooper' pendant lights by Kate Stokes (pictured above). Inspired by the old tin can telephone, the lights are made from spun copper and combine modern simplicity with a charming retro feel.

The exhibition is on at the Abbotsford Convent, 1 St Heliers St Collingwood, in the Industrial School building in the Sacred Heart Courtyard. It runs until 8 October, from Thursday to Sunday, from 11 am to 5 pm. Entry is free.

Until next time!


If you enjoyed this post, you might like Kylie Kwong Partners with Oxfam to Bring Fairtrade Design to Your Table.

Discovering new ways to save money and reduce consumption is a creative act - once you're on the journey to frugality and buying less, it never ends. After a while, thinking up new and different ways to save money and consume less becomes a habit.

Below are some of the things I do to cut spending and stick to a budget. While the focus is on saving money, some of these tips will help reduce your consumption and therefore waste. Do you have any creative stingeing tips you’d like to share?

1. Get more from your groceries. When a bottle or container of a liquid product such as dishwashing liquid, moisturiser or shampoo is getting low, leave it tipped upside down in a plastic cup (with the lid still on), giving the liquid the chance to travel to the lid. Do this until you’ve used it all up. Do a similar thing with cooking oil, leaving the bottle standing upside down on a wad of newspaper. If there’s still a decent amount of product in there and the bottle is made of thin plastic, see if you can cut the bottle using scissors (be careful doing this!).

2. If you’ve bought goods in bulk, use them sparingly. Storing goods in larger quantities can encourage you to use more of the goods at a time. A study conducted by Pierre Chandon and Brian Wansink in 2002 noted that people tended to consume some products at a greater rate if they were bought in bulk. To curb your unconscious eagerness to use up the product, try to challenge yourself to make it last as long as possible. Alternatively, transfer the goods to small containers to give the illusion of a lesser amount being available.

3. Cut down on the amount of washing powder you use per wash by at least a half. A washing machine mechanic once told me that washing powder companies encourage consumers to use far more product than they need to; this can actually reduce the effectiveness of the wash. Front loaders require less soap powder than top loaders because they use less water, but the advice applies to both types of washing machine.

4. Re-use tissue boxes. Don’t like spending a lot of money on tissues but prefer boxes with attractive patterns? Buy a fancy box of tissues and when they’ve run out, keep refilling the box with store-brand tissues.

5. Halve the money you spend on tissues – literally! Tissues are two-ply – simply divide them into their separate sheets before use, and use one sheet at a time.

6. Renovate your car as an alternative to buying a new one. Do this only if you’re sure your car is reasonably mechanically sound and that you will be holding onto it for a number of years. For example, have the windows tinted and the exterior and interior detailed, and, if you can afford it, treat yourself to any new accessories you’ve been thinking about.

7. Park your money in a credit union rather than a bank. The overall fees are usually much lower, and internet savings accounts can offer excellent interest rates. My credit union allows me to conduct a certain number of transactions for free every month, including using another bank’s ATMs. When you’re comparing the fees of different financial institutions, look at fees for out-of-the-ordinary transactions (eg cheque dishonour, bank cheque, account overdrawn) as well as the usual account-keeping fees, as the former especially tend to be far lower for credit unions.

8. Spend less money on recreational items by swapping with friends. Do your friends and family have similar tastes in magazines, books, computer games or DVDs/Blu-rays? Arrange with them to swap these items so you end up buying fewer. Sort out your DVDS, books and games, store them in alphabetical order, and set up your own ‘library’ so you can keep tabs on who is borrowing what.

9. Make your own greeting cards. There are many ways to do this; for example, the internet is loaded with free vintage images that can be printed out for use in cards as well as items such as calendars. If you’re not the crafty type, stake out places to purchase cheap cards and buy them in bulk a long time before the relevant birthdays, choosing them to suit the individual recipients. Discount stores and large galleries often offer relatively cheap cards, and galleries also sell art postcards that are cheaper than standard greeting cards.

10. Make your own Christmas decorations. Use odd pieces of wrapping paper, and cut them up into strips of equal size. create a loop with the first strip using sticky tape or glue, then link each strip in the ‘chain’. Hang the decoration from a mantelpiece or wall.

11. When it comes time to renew your home and car insurance each year, shop around. Prices can vary hugely for very similar products, so it’s worth comparing your premium with those offered by other companies to ensure you’re still getting a good deal. Even if you want to stay with your regular insurer, give them a call and bargain them down if you think the price has increased too much from the previous year.

Until next time!



If you enjoyed this blog entry, you might like Green Fingers: Gorgeous Gardens on the Cheap.

The impulse buy – the expensive item you come home with when you actually intended to pick up a packet of pasta, a jar of anchovies and some tinned tomatoes – is an institution in our shopping culture. ‘I just bought it on impulse’, we say, or ‘I was just passing and I saw it and I had to have it’.

Impulse purchases are unplanned purchases. They often occur at cash registers where goods are displayed so as to tempt shoppers as they leave the store. You’re most vulnerable to an unwise impulse buy when you’re tired, hungry, or feeling low.

The irony of the impulse buy is the contrast between the buyer’s lack of conscious planning and the lengths that stores go to in preparing their ambush. About 60 per cent of what we buy is unplanned, and store displays are carefully designed and positioned to tempt us to reach for our wallets or add an extra item to our trolleys on the spur of the moment.

The internet is rife with its own triggers for impulse buying. Anonymity, easy use of credit cards, navigational software and a seemingly infinite number of choices make the internet an ideal environment for encouraging us to buy on impulse.

Impulse buys aren't all the same

The difference between an impulse buy and something you buy intuitively – something that you really do need and want – isn’t always obvious. In fact, they can sometimes be the same thing – it depends on the reasons behind the purchase.

Often when we buy things suddenly, we’ve actually been planning the purchase for a long time. One evening my brother-in-law Robert came home with a shivery little ginger-coloured spaniel. He’d supposedly bought the pup ‘on impulse’, but his two young daughters had been nagging him to get them a puppy for over a year. Perhaps Robert hadn’t planned to buy the puppy – but his unconscious mind had.

On the other hand, if you’re feeling low and find yourself poised to purchase some overpriced video game based on a blockbuster that you enjoyed at the cinema, although you have no idea whether the game itself is any good, this is less likely to be the result of intuition.

So how do you distinguish between a good impulse buy and an unwise one? Here are some tips to keep you on track.

1. Have a budget in place. A budget with allocated spending for different categories gives you a structure that helps you to identify whether you can afford the item that’s clamouring for your attention.

2. Start a Priority List. A Priority List, which I describe in detail in my book The Inspired Shopper, makes a great supplement to a budget. It’s basically a list of all the things you want and need. Prepare this list slowly and mindfully, noting how you feel as you write an item down. Do you really need the item or not? Could you repurpose something instead?

If an item you get the urge to buy on impulse is on your Priority List, it may be something you want and need. But you still need to ‘check in’ at the time to ensure that it feels right to buy it.

3. Get in touch how are you’re feeling. There are many emotions that can tip us over into wanting to buy. Sometimes the item may be directly related to how you’re feeling (a chocolate bar when you’re hungry) or sometimes it’s just that you’re desperate to buy something – anything – and the item conveniently presents itself in front of you! Common feelings that can set off the urge to buy are sadness, disappointment, anger, fatigue, hunger – but even positive emotions like joy, triumph and relief can lead us to buy.

4. Tap into your intuition. There is another layer of experience deeper than emotions – your intuition. It’s always there, regardless of how you’re feeling. Once you’ve worked out how your intuition responds in shopping situations, you can always rely on it. Start to experiment with it in simple scenarios, like choosing the best bunch of celery, and go from there.

5. Let go of the item. Letting go of an item before you decide whether to buy it – a process I call relinquishing – is very similar to a cooling-off period. But it doesn’t rely on moving physically away from the item, or waiting a long time before making a decision. What’s important with relinquishing is that you actually let go of the item mentally. You decide that you won’t buy it, place it back of the shelf or rack, and then you stop to listen to how your intuition responds. Does it feel genuinely wrong to leave the item behind? Or is there a sense of relief?

The impulse buy and your Priority List

An impulse buy that your unconscious has been planning for a while may sometimes be a good thing. Deliberately hunting out a new wool wrap, kitchen trolley or pair of summer sandals can lead to a long, fruitless and debilitating search; when you most feel you need something, you often can’t find it.

The Priority List lets your unconscious do the searching for you. When you have an idea of all the things you need, you can be proactive without really trying because your unconscious mind will be on the lookout for those items. When the right item appears, you’ve checked out the specifications, the price is right and you’re ready to buy, snap it up.

However, in the case of any significant purchase, you’ll need to carry out research before you buy. You can delay what would otherwise have been an impulse purchase by researching the item once you’ve found it.

Should you buy something on impulse if it’s not already on your Priority List? Ultimately you make the rules – how much structure you need depends on how prone you are to overspending, and how confident you are that you can stick to your budget.

The more you practise, the better you’ll be at distinguishing between intuitive and purely emotional shopping desires. It’s better to err on the side of caution if you’re unsure –you can always put something on your Priority List once you find it, and go back and buy it when you’ve had time to decide whether it will genuinely enhance your life.

Until next time!



If you enjoyed this post, you might like How to Stay Calm When Shopping Online!

Iconic Australian chef and restaurateur Kylie Kwong has launched a stunning range of Fairtrade tableware, soon to be available online and in Oxfam shops within Australia.

The collection includes a soup bowl, rice bowl, Chinese teapot and teacup, all adorned with a striking hand-painted pink lotus flower design. It was created in conjunction with Oxfam Australia.

The range is handcrafted and hand painted in Vietnam by Oxfam’s Fairtrade producer partner Mai Vietnamese Handicrafts. Kwong travelled to Vietnam and consulted extensively with the artisans during the design phase.

Each item is smoothed by hand using a pottery wheel, fired and glazed. The pieces are then carefully hand painted before being fired in a kiln to create the vibrant tones that adorn the finished range.

'I wanted to create a design that was not only aesthetically pleasing but which also had great depth and a wonderful story to it', Kwong said.

'As part of my inspiration I looked towards the symbol of the lotus flower. To me the lotus ... represents femininity, spirituality, and the importance of nature and the environment.'

Founded in 1990 to support Vietnamese street children, Mai now employs the mothers and elder sisters of these children and most of its employees are women. Workers receive decent wages and training in areas such as quality control, marketing and export procedures.

Oxfam Australia’s Director of Trading, Nadine Silverberg, who initiated the Lotus project, said Ms Kwong’s involvement would make a huge difference to the producers Oxfam works with, both in Vietnam and more broadly. 'Kylie’s support is also playing an important role in raising the profile of fair trade in Australia', she said.

Kwong's involvement in the project supplements her passionate advocacy on behalf of fair trade. It's the same holistic philosophy that she brings to her celebrated Sydney restaurant, Billy Kwong.

The Lotus range is now available at Oxfam’s Australian online store (which also sells to international customers) and will be available at Oxfam's retail shops in Australia from 1 October. For further inquiries call 1800 088 455.

Until next time!



If you enjoyed this post, you might like Groovy Secondhand Bookshop with a Conscience.
                                                                                                                                                    

Want to spruce up your garden but trying to save money? Here are some great tips for developing your garden without the need to hire Jamie Drury!

Cheap and cheerful plants

* Choose hardy plants that are suited to local conditions.

* Use plant cuttings – politely ask for them when visiting friends and family. Choose plants that transplant easily, such as cactuses. (In my experience, cactus cuttings don’t even need root powder to take.)

* To help cuttings grow roots in the soil, most of the time you will need root powder. This is available from the hardware store, but you might also want to make your own. Here’s a method for making your own root powder.

* School fetes are often great places to get cheap plants, as the stock has to be cleared on the day. Large nurseries often hold sales or discount days - if there's one near you, sign up for their mailing list to be notified of future sales. Farmers markets sometimes sell plants at reasonable prices.

* Some op (thrift) shops sell cheap plants. My local op shop has an amazing volunteer who paints tin buckets and plants cactuses in them before covering the top of the soil with decorative pebbles. Of course, you might want to do this yourself.

Perfect pebbles and ornaments

* If you want to decorate your garden with pebbles and rocks and are buying in bulk, it’s cheaper to buy them in bulk from a landscape supplier rather than a hardware store. (Try to ensure they have been ethically sourced, and don’t pick them up yourself from natural environments.)

Pots with punch

* Do you have friends or family members with a garden shed or garage full of junk? Offer to help clean it out in exchange for thrifty finds – it’s almost guaranteed there’ll be some pots and garden ornaments you can take home with you.

* Recycle household items, including furniture, to make planters; suitable items are only limited by your imagination. Here are some great ‘out there’ ideas for making planters from recycled materials. The comments in this article about making your own pots from tin cans include additional recycling ideas.

* The main thing to do when making any kind of container for a plant is to provide a drainage hole for the plant. In the case of glass you may have to use a drill. Here's how to drill a hole in a bottle.

* Restaurants are a great source of recycled materials for making planters – as well as throwing out tin cans, they may also be able to supply vegetable packaging (useful for seedlings) and glass containers.

* If you’d rather buy pots, haunt garage (yard) sales for cheap pots, or buy them in bulk from out-of-town pot suppliers, which are often cheaper.

Great garden furniture and ornaments

* Use local council hard rubbish pick-ups and garage or yard sales to find garden ornaments, furniture, and shelving for outdoor pot plants.

Fantastic fertiliser

* Water-soluble nitrogen of conventional fertilisers is a huge contributor to water pollution. The internet has heaps of information about making your own more environmentally friendly fertiliser. There are some great ideas in this article, and some more in this one.

* Compost makes great fertilizer – this site provides very detailed information about making compost.

Marvellous mulch

* Make your own mulch from lawn clippings and dried leaves. If you’d rather buy mulch, landscape suppliers offer mulch in bulk. Another good source is tree removal companies, which often sell prime mulch at bulk prices. Some local councils supply free mulch that can be picked up from transfer stations.

Happy herbs

Grow your own herbs on the cheap. Herbs can be produced from cuttings; this article shows you how. Some brave souls have been known to use fresh herbs bought from the supermarket to propagate their own.

Don’t be a Wally with water!

* Keep a bucket in your shower to catch the flow, and use the water on your outdoor plants. Also use the rinse water from handwashing of clothes. Some people catch the water from running the kitchen tap and recycle it in the garden.

If you’re serious about growing a gorgeously frugal garden, there are plenty of blogs that provide forums and advice. A good one is Frugal Gardening.

Until next time!


If you enjoyed this post, you might like How to be Frugal When Your Friends Aren't.

Shopping with your beloved children in tow is an experience that represents life at its most unpredictable. Depending on what happens, the shopping trip could be a fun adventure or a journey to the outer limits of your sanity! The tips below can help you avoid the pitfalls and turn your next shopping trip into an outing, both for you and your children.

1. Shop with another parent and their children.

Having another adult around means you can take turns to mind the children when one of you is trying on clothes or busy with a salesperson. One enterprising parent on the Simple Savings website goes grocery shopping with a close friend and ‘swaps’ children for the duration – the children are much better behaved because they’re not with their own parent!

2. Use positive reinforcement.

As I entered a busy mall on a recent Saturday morning I passed a young family, two small daughters flanked by their mum and dad. ‘You shared really well then’, the mother said to the elder girl. ‘How did that feel?’ Positive reinforcement is simply providing positive feedback when your child does the right thing. It tells the child that they’re on the right track without being bossy, and is a great way to build your child’s self-esteem and confidence.

3. Use teachable moments to help your children become smart, effective shoppers.

Everyday occurrences can offer valuable lessons in life. When you’re at the supermarket, point out how the cereals are displayed so as to encourage people to buy them; ask the children if they think the loaf of bread you’ve chosen is good value; let them help you choose the freshest fruit and vegetables. Before the trip, involve them in preparing the shopping list (‘Do you think we should get some zucchini?’). Try to avoid making negative comments about how expensive things are getting – give your children a sense that you’re in control of your shopping and spending, and that they can be too.

4. Acknowledge emotions.

You can support the development of your children’s intuition and emotional intelligence when you’re out shopping. Be aware of how they’re feeling and acknowledge their emotional state, eg ‘You’re looking tired – do you want to sit up here?’ Gently remind them to stay centred with a prompt like ‘What’s your heart telling you to do?’ Encourage them to think about how they are feeling when they demand that you buy them something. If they’re being a bit loud and overactive, respond positively: ‘It’s great that if you have so much energy, but you can shout and run around outside once we get home’.

5. Learn when it’s better to leave your child alone.

We all need periods of withdrawal and contemplation. While it’s great to involve children in the shopping process there will be times when they just want to withdraw. Children are easily stimulated and the retail environment can be overwhelming for them; sometimes they need to take stock and get back in touch with their interior world. Use your gut feeling to decide when to engage your child and when to simply leave them be.

6. Plan ahead to avoid tantrums.

Try not to shop at times when your child is likely to be hungry and tired, and take their needs into account once you’re out. Bring along small toys and books to keep them occupied. When supermarket shopping, have a plan in place to deal with demands for food. This could mean letting your children choose a piece of fruit as soon as you arrive at the supermarket; bringing a healthy snack; or having an agreement with your child that a particular snack will bought after the shopping trip. Plan activities to distract your children at the crucial time when you’re approaching a cash register; for example, you could start a game of I Spy.

7. Deal with bad behaviour calmly.

It’s easy to go into bossy mode when a child is acting up, especially if you’re both tired. A useful technique when your child starts to misbehave is to present them with a choice, eg ‘Sweetie, you have two options: you can give the toy back to Samantha, or I’ll have to do it. Which would you rather?’ This encourages children to behave without disempowering them.

8. Deal with tantrums if they do arise.

If your child is really upset, try to think of yourself as an oasis of calm in their storm. Take some deep breaths before reacting, then acknowledge how they are feeling. This is more easily said than done, but it helps your child if you’re able to model how to stay in control while they are still learning how to deal with emotions. Don’t give into unreasonable demands, however upset your child is: you’ll set a precedent and create a monster. If the tantrum continues, sometimes removing yourself and your child temporarily is the best solution.

9. Build in the fun.

Try to make the whole trip fun for your children with games and challenges. Treasure hunts, guessing the weight of fruits and vegetables, finding low-cost goods, and finding items starting with particular letters of the alphabet are just some possibilities. Create a sense of adventure, and reward your children when they behave well. Remember, too, that rewards don’t have to be about food: shopping at the mall could be followed by a ride on a mini-merry-go-round or a trip to a nearby park.

Hope these tips help! Until next time



If you enjoyed this post you might like Top Tips for Inspired Supermarket Savings.
                                                                                                                                                                  

Downsizing, going frugal, cutting spending – everyone’s doing it these days. It’s part of a huge wave of consumer empowerment that the mainstream media seems incapable of grasping, instead simply complaining that ‘retail spending is down’.

Partly as a response to the GFC, the frugal movement ties in beautifully with another trend – people who, empowered by social media, are trying to reduce their carbon footprint and the amount of goods going to landfill while ceasing to purchase goods that exploit others.

Many of the frugal are reformed overspenders and shopping addicts who took control and are now paying back debt and learning to live richly on a much smaller (and saner) budget.

But I’m not one of those people. It took me ages to figure out that in fact I have the opposite problem. I’m not a reformed overspender. I’m a reformed underspender.

Before I became an underspender I was a spendthrift. For most of my twenties I simply spent everything I earned. But even then I wasn’t extravagant; I didn’t even have a credit card (come to think of it, I’ve never had a credit card, apart from a temporary one for an overseas trip; I now have a debit card). Nor was I particularly into shopping, or good at it. I just never saved anything because I didn’t realise I could.

When I started stingeing, I overdid it. It was a correction that went too far. I couldn’t tell the difference between necessary and unnecessary spending. For example, for about four years I went without a car; yet during that time I wouldn’t spend money on taxis to get home from a party, even though I was saving hundreds of dollars a year in car expenses.

I wrote my book, The Inspired Shopper, as an attempt to work out how to spend money wisely and how to buy the things I really needed.

The book has helped me to do those things, and most of things I buy these days are right for me. I imagine it would also be of use to reformed overspenders who want to spend in moderation.

But it doesn’t entirely take away the anxiety about spending. It just means that most of the time I don’t have to act on it (or fail to act because of it). Fear of spending money runs deep. It’s a basic distrust in the process of life. Giving money away to get something in return requires a degree of trust – that the object is not faulty, that it will work for a reasonable amount of time, that you’re not just throwing money away.

Usually I think I’ve worked through this. And then one bad buy and bang! I’m back to underspending hell again.

The lure of underspending 

The extreme end of the frugal movement is compacting. Compacters commit to buying no new non-perishable goods, apart from necessities such as underwear and health and safety items, for a year. They can buy secondhand goods, barter, and receive gifts. Compacting seems to be less popular now, but the Fashion Challenge has taken over where compacting left off.

In some ways the Fashion Challenge is more extreme than compacting. For a year you commit to not buying any clothes at all, including underwear, socks, material for making things, or secondhand goods. You can swap clothes with others but you can’t receive clothes or undies as gifts. When I’m in underspending mode, the Fashion Challenge actually sounds quite tempting. No difficult decisions to make!

It’s not that I don’t enjoy shopping these days. I love it. I just don’t love spending. They’re not the same thing.

Underspending is actually quite painful. It can lead to compulsive buying because you end up holding out too long for something you really need. You may hurriedly buy something without checking that it has all the features that you require because you’re so desperate to purchase a necessity.

Neuroscientist Gregory Berns has found that when we have money in our bank accounts (or pockets) it means more to us because it offers unlimited possibilities. We don’t have to commit to spending it on one thing. Twenty thousand dollars could fund an indulgent trip to Paris that includes sampling a series of five-star Michelin restaurants, go towards a down payment on an apartment, or pay for one year of a law course.

When you spend that money, it’s gone. Committing to one or more things means that all the other possibilities fall away. If you’ve been saving for a while, it may become difficult to let a large slice of money go.

Frugality doesn’t mean a miserly approach to life. Most people who write about budgeting recommend building small treats into the process. And many frugal people make it their policy to buy quality goods when they do buy. Ethical purchases make even more sense in this context. Of course, for many people frugality isn’t a choice, it’s a necessity.

The habit of saving

Even if you don’t come from a history of underspending (and I understand that in our consumer society most of us don’t), is it possible to become addicted to frugality so that we become afraid to spend? Could too much compacting be bad for you? Or, once you’ve curbed the overspending, is it relatively simple to get the balance right without too much pain?

I would love to hear from readers about this. How do you know when to save and when to spend? How do you treat yourself? Is it possible to get addicted to saving? Is it hard to spend money when you’ve been saving too long? How do you get the balance right?

Until next time!

If you enjoyed this post, you might also like In with the Old and Out with the New - Shopping and the Search for Perfection.
                                                                                                                                                               

Years ago in my spendthrift days I shared a house with someone who was frugal in the extreme – but she was also very conscientious and caring towards her friends. I admired the way she was able to maintain friendships with people from a wide range of backgrounds and incomes while remaining frugal.





* If you're meeting up with friends for a drink, don't buy alcohol – it's much cheaper to sip on a soft drink or soda water. Pay for drinks separately so you don't end up paying for your friends' expensive cocktails. If buying alcohol when you entertain at home, buy in bulk (but there's no need to drink in bulk!). If you like to entertain, consider having the makings of cocktails at home – it's much cheaper than buying them. You could even type up a little cocktail menu for special occasions!


* If you're frugal and your friends aren't, be prepared to do any legwork required to organise cheap entertainment. For example, Melbourne has a booking agency that sells cheap theatre and concert tickets, Halftix, but you need to buy the tickets in person. If your friends don't care about frugality but you do, putting the extra effort in yourself will ensure that everybody pays less.


*  If your friends like to meet up for a meal, scout out restaurants that are both cheap and of reasonable quality. The internet has loads of food blogs that provide guidance to the best cheap food in different parts of the world – this list of cheap New York eateries is just one example. Some cities have hard copy reference guides that you could borrow from or consult at your local library; the Age newspaper's Cheap Eats Guide is a Melbourne institution.

Hemp wrap by Viridis Luxe

Ethical fashion – including fair trade fashion, sustainable fashion and, a term I admit to not being crazy about, 'eco-fashion' – is huge. You'd never know it in the mainstream media (in Australia at least), but this area is burgeoning, with new brands and online stores appearing, it seems, by the minute. (Of course, the handmade, thrifty, upcycling fashion movement is also having a huge influence.)

Because there is so much choice out there now (assuming you're willing to buy online), this is not a guide to individual brands but a guide to individual guides and lists – a metaguide! (I've also included some particularly informative blogs and magazines.) If anyone knows of any good guides or lists I've missed out on, from any country, please let me know and I'll add them. I've grouped these lists according to country, and at the moment it's confined to the UK, USA, Canada and Australia. However, most of the stores are online so in many cases you will still be able to buy from the overseas ones.

As far as the Anglo world is concerned it does seem that the UK is well ahead of the pack. But the more information about ethical fashion that's out there, the more its popularity will spread in all countries.

Hope you enjoy my guide to the guides.

Overall

Eco Fashion Guide

A searchable guide to sustainable, ethical designer brands and online eco-fashion stores. You can search by brand, store, eco criteria, category or country – 15 countries in all. It's far from comprehensive but worth a look.

http://www.ecofashionworld.com/ECO-FASHION-GUIDE.html


A great list of eco fashion and beauty blogs from around the world

http://www.bachelorofarts.com/the-complete-list-of-eco-fashion-blogs



PETA’s guide to animal-friendly brands and stores

A huge list of companies that sells cruelty-free products

http://www.peta.org/living/fashion/cruelty-free-clothing-guide-vegan-companies.aspx



UK

Marie Claire’s list of top ten UK sustainable fashion brands

The UK has some fantastic ethical and sustainable fashion brands, and they’re not all at designer prices. Here is Marie Claire’s list of the best 10.

http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/fashion/best/6715/10/eco-fashion-brands.html#play


Feze Fair Trade

The webpage below includes a list of websites that sell women's fair trade clothing. The website also includes a list of men's fair trade clothing, as well as information about other fair trade products.

http://www.fezefairtrade.com/womens/womensclothing.html



Ethical Consumer magazine's guide to clothes shopping

http://www.ethicalconsumer.org/BuyersGuides/Clothing.aspx



Guardian Ethical fashion directory

The Guardian's own ethical fashion directory

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/interactive/2008/jul/21/ethical.fashion.directory


Style with Heart

A portal to a wide range of websites selling fair trade, ethical and sustainable clothes and accessories

http://www.stylewithheart.com/


Ethics Girls magazine

The Ethics Girls website sells a wide range of ethically sourced fashion. It's a cooperative with a commitment to selling fairly produced fashion.

http://magazine.ethicsgirls.co.uk/magazine



The Ecologist's list of top ten ethical labels

http://www.theecologist.org/green_green_living/clothing/748975/top_10_ethical_labels_to_love.html


Style Will Save Us

This website sells a wide range of ethical fashion, beauty and gift products, and also has an ethical fashion and lifestyle magazine.

http://www.stylewillsaveus.com/content.php?ContentType=Magazine


USA

One Green Planet list
A list of ethical and sustainable designers in the USA and elsewhere from a website promoting a vegan, sustainable lifestyle


http://www.onegreenplanet.org/lifestyle/beyond-green-hype-eco-concious-and-ethical-designers-labels

Ecouterre

A website that promotes sustainable fashion

http://www.ecouterre.com/



Socially Responsible Style

A guide to green and ethical buying including ethical fashion brands (the webpage also has a very good blogroll)

http://sociallyresponsiblestyle.com/resources/



LovingEco

A range of eco fashion at sale prices

http://www.lovingeco.com/



Treehugger fashion and beauty blog

This is based in the US but includes some overseas news.

http://www.treehugger.com/fashion_beauty/?campaign=th_nav_fashion



Behind the Seams blog

A very newsy blog about the latest in ethical style

http://ethicalstyle.com/blog/



Sustainable Sartorial blog

A personal journey by an aspiring ethical designer

http://sustainablesartorial.blogspot.com/



Australia

Ethical Clothing Australia accredited brands

A list of Australian fashion brands accredited through Ethical Clothing Australia (note that these may not be sustainable, and some sustainable brands aren't listed).

http://www.ethicalclothingaustralia.org.au/_webapp_826193/Fashion


Australian designers producing sustainable fashion

A very good list from RMIT

http://rmit.libguides.com/content.php?pid=3719&sid=21576



How Big Is Your Eco

Blue Caravan

Based in Australia, Blue Caravan sources and sells independently made, ethical and sustainable fashion, homewares, beauty products, homewares jewellery and other items.

http://www.bluecaravan.net/


Peppermint Magazine

A hard copy magazine and blog with a focus on sustainable, ethical fashion and lifestyle

http://peppermintmag.com/category/events/


Wardrobe Wonderland

An Australian ethical fashion blog

http://wardrobewonderland.com/



Style Wilderness

A Melbourne blog that combines sustainable fashion and style with thrifting and handcrafts

http://stylewilderness.blogspot.com/

Canada

Fashion Takes Action

A list of members of an industry group for sustainable fashion

http://www.fashiontakesaction.com/content/membership/members-directory?start=20


Until next time!


If you enjoyed this post you might also enjoy Be an Ethical, Frugal Fashionisa: How to Shop Ethical When You're on a Budget.

                                                                                                                                                    

What are you really looking for when you shop?

Shiny, upmarket boutiques and department stores drag us away from the imperfections of life, promising an eternal present where things never get lost, get old, wear out or break down. 

Their gleaming surfaces and stark cream walls offer a tantalising backdrop from which to ogle an array of items that are pristine – never used, unmarked, tags still on.

When we enter a retail temple we succumb to the illusion that the goods it displays are a kind of virgin territory waiting to be discovered – by us. It’s as if they appeared on the designer shelves fully formed. The seductive store fit-outs urge us to forget about the source of their manufacture. And they beg us to believe that we too can be renewed, and our very lives made over, by this pure, unsullied world.

When we shop, there’s often something in particular we need to buy – something practical. No matter how frugal we are, shoes wear out, jeans tear, gadgets take early retirement, fridges break down. Sometimes buying something new is a necessity, not a hobby or leisure activity. But there are many reasons for our buying that have nothing to do with practical considerations.

A common reason we go out on the hunt is that we’re really seeking something new. One reason why we crave new things is that we're searching for an elusive perfection that's missing from our own lives.

I was backing my car out of the drive and noticed just how untidy the front garden was looking. The art deco style unit I rent is over 70 years old and the outside walls, which are cream-coloured and roughly rendered, are cracked following Melbourne’s recent ten-year drought. The weather has been too miserable for me to garden – well, too miserable for my version of gardening, which basically consists of weeding – and the front yard really needed a mini-makeover.

Easier, of course, to go to the mall and buy something shiny and new.

The same goes for my car, a little emerald green Toyota Starlet. It’s now well over ten years old and is beginning to show its age. There is some loss of colour on the roof, and plenty of scratches. Yet there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. Once a year it gets a service. The mechanics charge like wounded bulls but are finicky to a fault – the sort of mechanics who change the spark plugs regularly. I would love to buy a new secondhand car, a little Echo or Yaris, and I could afford one. But there is absolutely no justification beyond the look of the car, and the need for something that is less worn and in better condition that my trusty Starlet.

Many of us have been taught from an early age that it’s worthwhile to seek perfection, and that if we try hard enough we can attain it. Yet in our lives, so many things are unfinished, unresolved, worn, imperfect. Our relationships and jobs are imperfect. We home in on our physical ‘imperfections’. The problems of the world remain unresolved and seem to get more serious by the day. We are chronically imperfect beings living in a chronically imperfect world.

Clinging to the ideal of perfection can sometimes affect our ability to make good choices – choices that are right for us – when we do have to buy something.

Below are some pointers for combatting the need for perfection that sometimes drives us to buy, and can also adversely affect how we buy.

1. Give your existing possessions some TLC. Think of making your things and environment better rather than perfect. Polish your shoes and boots, reorganise your cupboards and drawers, handwash your sweaters, get your mending up to date or do some handyperson tasks around the house. This kind of self-maintenance can be extremely rewarding – it makes you feel looked after and makes your things seem newer and more valuable. You’ll gain an appreciation of what you already have, and how it is serving you, and you’ll have less need to seek the new. I know that when I get around to weeding my front yard the cracked walls won't bother me as much. I always feel much better about my Starlet when I’ve lavished some attention on it – taken it to the carwash, vacuumed the seats and carpet, polished the windows.

2. Celebrate and highlight the worn and used aspects of possessions. Old can mean full of character, lived in, loved. Part of the frugal and thrifty movement is to play up and enhance the ‘old’ aspects of objects. We already do this for some things – jeans come to us prefaded, and some homewares stores proudly display their ‘shabby chic’ furniture. Repurposing, such as stacking old trunks to make a table, is now a craze. I’ve already placed plants in large terracotta pots against the cracked outer walls of my unit to create an olde worlde look, and I intend to add more, working around the cracks rather than trying to hide them.

3. Hide an imperfection you can’t easily live with. There are some imperfections that are simply irritating rather than endearing. We’re visual creatures, and it’s easy to forget what isn’t in front of our eyes. Cover up a mangy carpet with a bright rug. Cover the fading on a piece of upholstered furniture with an attractive throw. You may sometimes have to buy something new (or secondhand) to do this, but at least you’re dealing with the imperfection rather than blindly buying something unrelated in a bid to ignore it, or spending thousands on new fittings or furniture. This is especially worthwhile if you’re renting your home and can’t make significant changes to the decor.

4. Replace the concept of ‘perfect’ with ‘right’. This goes for all areas of life as well as objects – partners, friends, work, home, and even suburb. Instead of thinking about things as not being perfect, ask yourself whether they are in fact right for you at this time. Of course, not everything will be – when something isn’t right, making changes is not just worthwhile but vital. But when we’re measuring the things we have – both materially and otherwise – why not try to replace the measure of perfection that we often have in our minds with the measure of rightness?

Until next time!



If you enjoyed this post, you might like Inspired Thrifting: What Makes a Good Find at the Op Shop or Thrift Store?
 
(Picture courtesy of oh my goods!)

When I joined Tweetdeck, I set it up to search for tweets on the topic of retail. Now I’m bombarded with tweets about retail every few seconds. A huge proportion of these tweets consist of either ‘I need retail therapy’ or ‘I love retail therapy’.

There is often a hidden logic in our reasons for seeking retail therapy. Perhaps we feel we deserve a treat, or something bad has happened that we need to process. Yet we don’t usually get what we really need when we use shopping to mediate our emotions. On the contrary, the short-term high from the hit of dopamine when we buy can lead to long-term buyer’s remorse and a serious debt problem.

It’s still important to reward and treat ourselves sometimes. Perhaps you’ve done a solid stretch of work and need time out. Perhaps you’re a bit down and need a pick-me-up. Perhaps you’re just feeling needy or bored.

Below are some tips for ‘rewards’ and treats that are either cheap or free. Some of them are absurdly simple, but they may be hard to put into practice. Society not only gives us permission to shop, but presents it as a virtue. Governments panic when consumers stop buying. After 9/11, George Bush told Americans that shopping was a patriotic act! Self-care and nurturing don’t make the big corporations any money. It can feel a bit self-indulgent to look after yourself, while hitting the streets and scoring a bargain feels more like an achievement. Giving yourself permission for non-retail treats and rewards is the first step in combating the need for retail therapy. Here are some options.

* If it’s a nice day, grab a rug, a water bottle, a hat and a good book or newspaper and head down to the nearest park. Sit yourself under a friendly oak and wile away an hour communing with nature and your favourite author. Or simply set yourself up in the backyard on a sun lounge with your iPod and a good book.

* Schedule some serious down time. (This will be hard if you’re a workaholic or have kids, but if you can arrange it with your spouse it’s a great way to regenerate your batteries.) Allot yourself a set amount of time on the couch. Set up your supplies (hot drink, healthy snack, books and newspapers) or simply have a nap. Alternatively, retreat to bed with said supplies. A ‘doona day’ (or half a day) may sound lazy but can be incredibly replenishing.

* Stake out a public art gallery holding a free exhibition in a neighbouring or rural town, pack a lunch and head on down – make a day of it.

* Find out from the internet or your local paper if there are free or very cheap architectural/historical tours in your area. Profit-making tours are expensive but sometimes local history societies hold walking tours for as little as a $2 donation.

* Enjoy a relaxing bath, complete with bath salts, essential oils and gentle music.

* Give yourself a pedicure, including a foot soak, in front of your favourite TV program.

* Plan a low-cost ‘date’ with your spouse or partner. Plan a frugal meal, buy some cleanskin wine and candles and choose some romantic music. Or simply go for a stroll along the beach or a river followed by a coffee.

* Visit a flea market and allocate yourself a small amount of spending money. Tramp around and soak up the atmosphere.

* If you’re into gardening or just like viewing gorgeous gardens, visit a garden show – these vary in price but can often be quite cheap. Find out if your local area has any open garden schemes, with owners of beautiful gardens opening them to the public for a small entry fee.

* Arrange to stay with a friend in another state, town or region.

* Arrange to have a Skype or phone chat with an out-of-town pal that you haven’t heard from for a while.

* Take advantage of any free summer concerts held by your local council.

* Schedule some laughter time. Hire a stack of comedy DVDs or Blu-rays. Choose shows and movies that you can rely on to make you laugh. Alternatively, borrow comedy DVDs from your friends. (Note: you don’t have to wait to the weekend to do this; it's often cheaper to hire DVDs during the week anyway.)

* Schedule some crying time. Borrow DVDs or Blu-rays that you know will give you the chance for a good bawl.

* Schedule some time to bake one of your favourite dishes. When I was a kid we didn’t make biscuits (cookies) much, we made slices – hedgehog, brownies, coconut ice, and my personal favourite, the three-layered caramel slice. If you’re trying to steer clear of sugar, bake a favourite savoury dish or experiment with Italian, Thai, Indian or Mexican food.

* Get some pet therapy. If you don’t have your own dog, borrow a friend or relative’s dog and take them to the local dog park. Not only will you get lots of doggie energy and probably enjoy some friendly chats, but you’ll earn the unconditional love of a faithful friend. Or connect with the local wildlife: a friend of mine lives opposite a park with a pond, and on most days he finds time to check in with the duck family who live there.

* Put some music on and dance around your lounge room.

* Plan a cheap beauty therapy afternoon with your pals. Make beauty masks from common ingredients, and/or dye your hair and paint your nails.

If you enjoyed this post you might also enjoy Are Any of These Negative Beliefs about Money Holding You Back?


Until next time!

Finding something wonderful in an op shop or thrift store can feel a bit magical. This is when serendipity happens – you’re pottering around the store or walking past a shop window and suddenly you spot a special item that seems to have been waiting for you to arrive and claim it as your own. But how do you know it’s a genuine bargain and not just a cheap piece of junk that will clutter up your house and give you a short-term dose of retail therapy?

A bargain is something that feels right at a gut level – even if your emotions and rational mind aren’t quite sure – doesn’t cost a lot of money and will enhance your life in some way. It doesn’t have to be something worth a lot of money that you pick up for a song, although it can be.

This sense of rightness isn’t just about the item itself. It’s about the way it ends up working with its adoptive environment to produce a kind of alchemy that transforms the environment, even if that transformation is subtle. Together the item and its environment become more than the sum of their parts. There’s an uncanny fit between them.

When I saw the framed print above in the window of a Salvos store in the prosperous eastern suburb of Camberwell a few weekends ago I was a bit dubious. Sitting in the midst of a window display featuring the usual assortment of stilettos, hats and semi-formal dresses in eye-catching colours, it looked like just another example of late nineties or early noughties kitsch. Which essentially it was.

Price-wise it wasn’t a huge bargain. It was $25, half the original price of $50, which I discovered when I went into the store to have a closer look at it and saw the original label on the back (impossible to say if this was the original price or an earlier Salvos price).

The piece was essentially tacksville. Yet something about the boldness of the colours and the cartoonishness of the design screamed ‘buy me’. So I did, unable to think of where I would put it.

Given that it was probably over ten years old it was in quite good condition. The stained wooden frame, possibly pine, had very few marks or nicks. The picture had a twin, with an almost identical print, displayed in similar fashion in the other shop window. Its condition was clearly inferior, with significant scratches on the frame and a few marks on the glass. It didn’t take much willpower to decide to leave the companion behind.

When I come home with this kind of item – something I’ve pounced on without much pre-planning – I sometimes engage in a bizarre ritual that would look quite mad to an observer. I walk around the house carrying the item and saying to to myself ‘where does this go?’ If I try to be too rational about the answer to this question, the process doesn’t work.

I finally settled on my office, easily the most boring room in the house and boringly festooned with testaments to my achievements. Did I really have to keep reminding myself and anyone else who walked in that I have a Masters degree? I think it’s sunk in by now. Same with the framed arts degree. Both were relegated to storage and this little beauty hung up instead.

And it has been a bit transformational. It now takes pride of place on a large patch of wall that is to the left of, and above, my desk. Because of the expanse of wall around it, the fact that the picture is square and the frame is dark and plain, the placement of the picture suggests a window through which you see the oversized flowers. The striking colours are the first thing the eye notices when you walk into the room, instead of the files, papers, books and office paraphernalia that would otherwise dominate. Because it’s just to the left of my computer I can see it out of the corner of my eye and glance at it any time. I like to think that when I'm writing, its fiery colours stoke my imagination.

Already I’ve grown incredibly fond of this picture, yet like many of my inspired finds it’s certainly not what I would have envisaged. Now I can't imagine life without it!

If you enjoyed this post, you might also like Sole mates, or a Gift That Suits Me Down to the Ground.

Until next time!